


Jellicles Can What Now?

by OnTheFritz



Category: Cats (1998), Cats (2019), Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - T. S. Eliot
Genre: Alternate Universes, Munk in all universes just wants to keep things in line, Parody, Pouncival wasn't in the 2019 movie but he certainly is now, Rating for Pounce's mild use of rude language, Real silly stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27130534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheFritz/pseuds/OnTheFritz
Summary: So we all know that Victoria is the protagonist of Cats 2019 because she was the first one to touch Grizabella, right? Well, not according to the 1998 stage recording. Technically there was another cat that touched her first.Pouncival finds himself stranded in the 2019 universe and has a lot of questions. Heaviside help them all. Lots of confusion, riffing, silly stuff, and shenanigans. Follows the plot of the 2019 movie with a very confused Pouncival playing the lead.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 48





	1. Jellicles can what?

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so I have watched the Cats 2019 movie and I have some thoughts. This story is going to really poke fun and pick apart some choices made in the movie. I don't intend to be cruel or mean and am writing this as a parody, but it really is for those of you who watched the 2019 movie and were left... unsettled. Or for those of you that don't mind making fun of Cats.
> 
> Really though, I just missed Pouncival and thought that he could have added some flavor to the movie.

The Jellicle Ball had come to an end. The excitement of the night was finally wearing off, leaving everyone in the junkyard feeling sleepy and content. Grizabella got to go up to the Heaviside Layer, all ended up just fine despite Macavity interrupting, and everyone enjoyed themselves. All in all, it was a good Jellicle Ball.

Pouncival watched the stars twinkle up above him, bidding a silent farewell to Grizabella. Sure, he had scratched her earlier and rudely bumped into her during her previous interruptions, but that was all behind them now. She would be reborn into a new Jellicle life and come back as a different cat. Hopefully one that everyone liked. It’d be awkward if she just wound up being banished again, although he wasn’t quite sure what her deal was in the first place.

Oh well. No use dwelling on the past. There were more important matters at hand. 

“Tumble, carry me home.” Pounce whined. “My feet hurt.”

“No, Pounce. You weigh a ton. Walk home yourself.” Tumblebrutus grumbled. Nevertheless he allowed Pounce to climb up on his back. 

The world was suddenly burlap. There really wasn't a better way to describe it. Gone was the junkyard, the starry night sky, the sights and sounds of the Jellicle Ball and Tumble’s grumbling. All that existed now was a beige, stuffy bag. 

Abruptly everything flipped upside down. Then Pounce somersaulted unwillingly through the air, crashing hard onto what he could only presume was the ground. Never in his short life had he botched a landing so badly, he had to get out of the bag before his reputation was ruined-

Pouncival was so busy trying to escape that he failed to notice that he was receiving help from the outside. With a gasp he thrust his head out from the hole he had torn open in the bag, eyes huge and ears turning every which way. Thanks to his tumbling within the bag his fur stood on end, giving him a slightly crazed, feral appearance.

He was not alone. The skittering of feet signaled the retreat of several individuals. Numerous pairs of eyes stared at him from behind piles of trash. Anticipation filled the silence. 

“Are you blind-”

"It wasn't me!" Pounce shrieked on pure instinct. "I didn't do anything!"

"Can you see-"

"Seriously, I dunno who you're looking for but I had nothing to do with it!" His mind whirled to the last thing he remembered before ending up in the bag. The ball, Macavity, Old Deuteronomy returning, Grizabella being chosen, then passing out on Tumble's back despite Tumble proclaiming he wasn't going to carry him home- wait, did he ever make it home? Where was Tumble? Where was he?

"Wait, no-"

"It was all Tumble and Plato, they put me up to it!" Pounce insisted, backing away from the group. Better to shake the blame now and figure out what he was being blamed for later.

"Will you shut it? Munk's trying to introduce us!" Someone yelled from atop a trash can.

"Huh?" Pounce paused in the proclamation of his innocence. For the first time he took a good look at his surroundings.

Something wasn't right. Scratch that, a lot of somethings weren't right. For one, he wasn't in the junkyard. Two, he couldn't smell any familiar scents. Three, he was fairly certain he was surrounded by cats, but there was something… unsettling about them. He couldn't quite put his paw on it and he wasn't certain if he really wanted to.

A tall silver tabby, the one who had started the line of questioning, stepped closer. In his wake several other unsettling figures followed close behind, the whole lot of them peppering him with questions. As Pounce turned he rapidly became aware of just how outnumbered he was. Maybe if he had simply bolted out of the bag without looking back he would have been able to make an escape, but now he was trapped in a writhing, undulating circle of these things that insisted on singing questions at him-

“Hang on, I know this song.” Pounce said, interrupting a brown tabby that was asking him if his bite was worse than his bark. “What are you guys all-”

“When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet?” A tuxedo asked, falling flat on his back and staring up at him. 

“Hey, I was in a bag, how was I supposed to be able to land on my feet-” Pounce was interrupted again.

“Are you tense when you sense there’s a storm in the air?” Yet another cat asked.

“I’m pretty tense now, yeah-” Again Pounce’s attempt at conversation was steamrolled by the relentless questioning. Sullenly he stood there and let them sing at him. Might as well let them get it over with. Was this how outsiders felt when they stumbled upon the Jellicle Ball? Confused, slightly scared, and like they were about to jump out of their skin?

Maybe that last bit was just him. These weird cat creatures were really making him nervous. Especially that silver tabby, who seemed to be leading this whole nightmare. Even though he knew all the words that these cats were singing, hearing this rendition made his fur stand on end. What in the world was going on?

“Hey, so, I already know this song. You don’t have to sing it at me.” Pounce said, watching as everyone started jumping and dancing around him. “Seriously. Just did this song earlier tonight. Don’t need to do it again- ah, well, nevermind.”

Guess he was stuck listening to everyone tell him what he should and shouldn’t do. Jellicles can and Jellicles do and all that. Pounce settled for watching the weird show around him, doing his best not to take a swipe at the cats that decided to get right up in his face. Seriously, who were these guys? What did they want with him?

The silver tabby caught his eye and made a motion with his head for Pounce to follow. Out of nothing better to do he followed, quickly hurrying down an alley and out into the street. Two cats tried to grab him by the arms and pull him into the dance, but he quickly ducked and rolled away.

“Oh no, don’t even think about it.” Now they were out in the middle of a neon lit square. Out in the open, dancing and singing where anyone could find them. Yet... there was nobody else. Not a human in sight. Just him and these... cats....

In the middle of the square was a tall statue. Instantly he was drawn to it, scrambling up to the top and perching like a gargoyle. Here was his safe space. Climbing and perching was what he did best (besides the pouncing, obviously), so as long as he sat up high he would be fine-

“Oh come on!” Pounce shouted as the rest of the cat creatures climbed up with him and continued their song. “Can’t a cat get a minute to think around here?”

“The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity-” They sang around him, completely ignoring his complaints. At least he knew where they were in the song. Eventually they’d have to come to the end and he’d finally be able to ask them what was going on. Sure was taking a while though.

“Feline, fearless, faithful and true.” The silver tabby stared him deep in the eyes.

“To others who do, yeah, yeah, I got this part, I sang this bit already, jeez.” Pounce avoided his gaze and jumped down to the street again. “Can we just get on with it?”

He had to give these guys credit. When they got to singing nothing stopped them. As one they all jumped down with him, surrounding him and sweeping him up into the dance. At this point it was just easier to go along with it. The silver tabby seemed determined to get him involved one way or another.

“Are those cats wearing sneakers?” Pounce saw a flash of two cats in shoes flit by but before he could really question it he was dragged down another street. Never had he thought that so much ground could be covered in one song. Out of the corner of his eye he saw two calicos about to smash open a window with a brick. Now there were two that he wouldn’t mind talking to later-

“Practical cats, dramatical cats, pragmatical cats-”

Now they were rounding up on the end. Honestly he never really learned all the words to this section since every other word was ‘cats’ and no one paid him too close attention when he mumbled the rest, but now he was wishing he had it memorized so he could know for sure when they would be done. There was one description coming up that he did remember, one that he felt very much like at this point in time-

“Hysterical cats!” Pounce screamed. “For the love of the Everlasting Cat I know!”

To his complete and utter confusion every cat in the vicinity fled, scurrying around corners, disappearing into doorways, or just straight up vanishing before his eyes.

“Guys?” Surely he hadn’t been that offensive. “Where’d you all go?”

“Going to the ball?” A deep voice asked from behind him. “I wouldn’t if I were you. It could get dangerous.”

“What? Who’s there? Who’re you? Will someone please tell me just what is going on?” Pounce whirled around to see a tall dark cat in a hat and trench coat trying to loom over him. At this point any and all alarm he should have felt was gone, replaced with a desperation to talk to someone, anyone that wasn’t aggressively singing at him. “It’s getting old, I’m tired, I just did a year’s worth of dancing at the ball and I’d really just like to sleep-”

“You know, they say that Macavity will win this year.”

“Macavity?” The name was enough to catch Pounce’s attention. “But the tribe just kicked his butt. He won’t be coming back for a while. Yeah, sure, he beat up Munk and Lonz a bit but you should’ve seen how Jelly took a swing at him, kinda embarrassing really-”

“There’s no one like Macavity.” The cat growled, obviously irritated at Pounce’s lack of awe. “He’s a wonderful magician-”

“Oh, I know one of those. Though he’s called Mr. Mistoffelees. You should talk to him if you want to do magic stuff.” Pounce turned his back on the cat to peer down the street. “Seriously though, do you know where I am? And where did those other guys go?”

The cat in the coat continued to try and praise Macavity but Pounce had already lost focus. Down the street he had spotted the tuxedo from earlier.

“Come on!” The tuxedo called.

“Hey, I wanna go talk to that guy, I’m gonna- huh?” Pounce turned back but the cat was gone. “Huh. His loss then I guess.”

The tuxedo slid between the bars of an iron gate. Pounce made to follow but was stopped by two queens. The tuxedo tried to go back to him but was hissed away by the other two.

"So." One of the queens with sleek brown fur looked down at him. “What’s your name?”

"Pouncival." Pounce frowned. The look she was giving him was not a friendly one.

"Pouncival?" The brown queen purred. “You must have another.”

"I'm not gonna tell you." If there was one thing that he retained from Jennyanydots's numerous attempts to turn him into a respectable Jellicle it was not to give your third name to anyone. She also had told him and the other kittens not to talk to strangers, but then again she hadn’t really told him what to do if he suddenly found himself in the middle of an aggressively singing and dancing mob.

“The naming of cats is a difficult matter.” There was that silver tabby again. At least he scared off the two queens. Pounce stepped through the gate to find himself in a graveyard.

“Oh please, why can’t we just be at the junkyard?” Pounce nervously looked all around him. 

Cats slithered in front of and behind the graves, casting long shadows in the light of the full moon, each one adding to the chant of the Naming of Cats. This part was supposed to be slightly unsettling, yes, but he wasn’t supposed to be on the receiving end of it. A couple familiar names caught his attention. They were definitely naming names of cats that he knew. Cats that should have been there and been able to answer him.

“Okay, okay, I’ve had enough.” Pounce leapt up onto the nearest tomb and did his best Munkustrap impression. Stern eyes, wide stance, slightly puffed tail. “Everybody shut it right now or I’m gonna do something drastic, something real big!”

Well, that finally got their attention. The silver tabby jumped up next to him, motioning for the other cats around them to stand down.

"Look, I understand this may all be a bit overwhelming, but we mean you no harm." The cat said.

"Uh, sure." Pounce gave the tabby a serious once over. Something about his face was kind of familiar but also really not right. “Who are you?”

"My name is Munkustrap." The tabby introduced himself.

Oh, it was just Munkustrap. Nothing to worry about. Pounce must have just hit his head and was simply hallucinating the fact that everything around him absolutely made no sense. If this cat said he was Munkustrap then he must have been telling the truth, who in their right mind would lie about being the Jellicle Protector, unless they planned to impersonate him to convince Pounce to do something that the real Munkustrap wouldn't want him to do-

"Wait." Pounce shook his head to try and clear out the whirling thoughts. "You're kidding me. You said your name is Munkustrap?"

"Yes." The silver tabby said. "And your name is?"

"You're not Munk. I know Munk. You're definitely not Munk." 

"I definitely am Munkustrap." This impostor did have the same vaguely irritated look in his eye that the original Munk had when Pounce was being stubborn. But Pounce could inspire that look in a lot of cats besides Munk.

"Oh yeah? The Munk I know is tall. And he's poofier." 

That was a definite difference between them. While Munk wasn't by any means a fluffy cat like Tugger, he still had some volume to his fur. This impostor Munk was very sleek, almost too sleek, and lacked any of the usual fluff around his head, shoulders and limbs. Vaguely Pounce wondered if someone had shaved the poor cat and his fur was just growing back in.

"Speak for yourself. You've got enough fur to rival Old Deuteronomy." A queen said from behind him, running her fingers through the fluff on his head.

"Hey!" Pounce skittered away from her. To his growing horror he could see that everyone had the same sleek, almost furless appearance. Had everyone been shaved? Was he about to be shaved?

"Look, you must have hit your head. My name really is Munkustrap. I don't believe we've met before." The silver tabby reached out to him. 

"I dunno what kind of joke this is but I've had enough. I'm out." Pounce ducked away from his grasp and tried to run, only to be stopped by the tuxedo cat from before. Now he was wearing an embellished top hat and jacket.

"Don't go." The cat said, voice soft and concerned with a slight waver of insecurity. "It's dangerous out there. You could get hurt."

"Excuse me, but- hold on." Pounce gave him a stink eye. There was only one tuxedo tom he knew that would willingly wear such a spangly outfit. "Don't tell me. You're supposed to be Mistoffelees."

"Um, yes, actually. Have we met?"

"What is happening? What happened to you? You're all-all not you!" Pounce gestured wildly at all of Misto. "What in all the Heaviside are you?"

“We’re Jellicle cats.” A brown tabby said. “Weren’t you paying attention to the earlier song?”

“Alright, everybody.” Munk sighed. “Once more from the top. Are you blind when you’re-”

“Heaviside above I've had to go to enough rehearsals I can recite this all in my sleep!" Pounce cried, flinging himself away from a tawny queen that was a little too keen on petting him. “Don’t sing it again!”

“Fine, we won’t.” Munk quickly said, trying to calm him down. “Just please stop yelling.”

"Fine.” Pounce sat down with a dejected sigh. “You know what, after seeing all of this I've decided that I definitely hit my head and am having some sort of bizarro nightmare that I'll eventually wake up from. Probably not before Tumble and Plato draw on my face."

"I wouldn't do such a thing!" One of the cats in shoes protested.

"Lemme guess, that's Plato?" Pounce sniffed.

"Yes. The other one is Socrates." Munk said. "Who's Tumble?"

Briefly Pounce felt offended that someone would even have the audacity to question who he and his brother was, but it dawned on him that maybe in this crazy place, this place with duplicate Misto's and Munk's and Plato's, there might be duplicates of him and Tumble too.

"Uh, Tumble's my brother. Kinda looks like me, got an eye patch on the other side of his face." Pounce gestured to his own face. "Does flips and stuff. Kinda known for tumbling because, well, you know."

Judging by all the blank stares he was receiving they did in fact not know.

"Seriously, is there anyone here named Pouncival or Tumblebrutus?"

"I'm afraid not. But Jellicle cats do not share names."

"Yeah you do."

"No, we don't."

"Well, you and Misto and Plato do."

Munk gave him a look. It was a look that suggested that it would be easier for everyone if Pounce stopped arguing and let the night proceed as planned. In that brief moment Pounce could truly see that, while this wasn’t his version of Munkustrap, this was definitely a Munkustrap, and maybe it would be best to not aggravate him too much. At least not all at once.

“So.” Pounce said, trying to put on his best innocent face. “What now?”

“Mr. Mistoffelees!” Misto jumped up, flourishing with his hat. “The magical cat!”

“What-”

“Jellicle cats come out tonight, Jellicle cats come one come all-”

“Oh, that.” Pounce exchanged a look with Munk, who looked just as thrilled about the interruption as he felt.

“The Jellicle Moon is shining bright, Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.” Misto began juggling. 

“Hey, that’s kinda neat.” Pounce had to give it to him, he was impressed. “Dunno if Misto back home can do that-”

“Jellicle cats come out tonight-” Misto took a wrong step and fell down a headstone, crashing on his face and desperately pulling flowers out of nowhere to distract everyone from his obvious fall. “Jellicles come to- argh- the Jellicle Ball.”

“Oh. That’s rough.” Pounce peered down at him. “You need to work on that. A lot.”

Munk shook his head and pulled Pounce away from the pathetic sight. “Jellicle cats meet once a year-”

“Yeah, I know. You already told me this. Er, I mean, my Munk did. I already did the Jellicle Ball and all that.” Pounce waved him away dismissively. 

“What?”

“We sang, we danced, we laughed, we cried. Well, I didn’t. But some of us did. Old Deut sent someone to the Heaviside Layer already and now I’m ready for a nap.”

“Come here.” Munk pulled Pounce aside so it was just the two of them. “Look. I don’t know who you are or where you’ve come from, but this is a very important night for Jellicles.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m a Jellicle too.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“No, really, I’m a Jellicle.”

Munk gave him a long look. “We’ll see.”

“What does that mean?”

“I mean that I need you to stop interrupting and allow us to get on with our night. Join us and see what the Ball is like. You might even enjoy it.”

“But my feet are tired.” Pounce whined. “I just finished dancing all night. I don’t wanna do it all over again.”

“At least stick around until you can meet Old Deuteronomy. She might be able to help sort all of this out.” It was not a suggestion.

“Fiiiine.” Pounce sighed dramatically. “I’ll play along. But you don’t have to tell me about the Heaviside Layer or what a Jellicle is. I already know about that.”

“Good.” Munk steered him back towards the others. “Now. Come along and see a cat who is competing to be the Jellicle Choice tonight.”

Pounce glanced back only to come face to face with Misto. The tuxedo nodded encouragingly, twiddling his hat between his hands. Oh, if only his Misto back home could see this one. He had no doubt that there would be a few choice words that Misto would want to say to his double. And they wouldn’t all be nice.

They ended up crouched on a windowsill looking into a kitchen. Pounce huddled next to Munk and looked down below at a large orange tabby reclining in a rocking chair.

“I have a Gumbie cat in mind.” Munk crooned. “Her name is-”

“Jennyanydots?” Pounce interrupted.

Munk gave him a long suffering look.

“Sorry. Continue.” Pounce ducked his head apologetically.

“Her coat is of the tabby kind.” Munk continued, climbing in through the open window and leading everyone into the kitchen. “With tiger stripes and leopard spots.”

Pounce took the opportunity to tune him out, instead turning his attention to the supposed Jennyanydots below. She seemed younger, somehow even lazier, and was staring back up at them all with a bit of a sultry smile on her face. Clumsily she stretched on a footstool and arched her back, only to be hit with the now empty rocking chair and falling flat on her face.

“Is this gonna be a thing?” Pounce asked no one in particular. 

“Is what?” Misto whispered, trying not interrupt Munk.

“Everyone falling on their faces.”

“Oh. No, I don’t believe so.” Misto looked embarrassed. “I certainly didn’t mean to before.”

“Right.” Pounce turned back just in time to see Jenny aggressively scratching her crotch, legs spread wide and aimed directly at him. “Oh, gross, come on.”

For once everyone was in agreement. Misto in particular looked horrified. 

“Oo, ah, argh, mpfh.” The Gumbie cat grunted. It seemed to go on forever.

“Wow, she’s really getting in there, isn’t she?” Pounce asked. 

Munk shushed him. Jenny finally sat up and took her cue.

“Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.” Jenny warbled all on her own. Pounce’s ears flew back against his skull. “When the day’s hustle and bustle is done, then the Gumbie cat’s work is but hardly begun. When all the family’s in bed and asleep, I tuck up my skirts to the basement to creep.”

"Hang on, why is everyone singing their own songs?" Pounce questioned, poking Munk in the shoulder to get his attention. "I thought you sang them all. Or at least most of them. Where’s Bomba, Jelly and Demeter?"

"I don't know where you got that impression but that's not how it goes." Munk gave him a funny look. "All cats that wish to be considered for the Jellicle Choice must sing a song about themselves. Who they are, what they do."

"Oh." Pounce settled back to watch Jenny continue. "Nevermind. Just let me know when to get my costume on. I already know this number."

"Your what?" Misto asked, looking intrigued.

"You know, for the roach dance number." Blank stares all around. Even Jenny was now staring at him. "Um, the pantomime? The tap?"

"Munkustrap, what is this cat talking about? He's interrupting my song!" Jenny put her hands on her hips and stared disapprovingly at him. At least that look was consistent between all versions of Jennyanydots.

"Don't worry Jenny, we'll straighten this out. Please, continue." Munk gestured towards her with his tail and pulled Pounce aside. "What are you going on about? What costumes are you referring to?"

"Jenny does this bit where Demeter, Bomba and Jelly sing about corralling cockroaches or whatever and then we all dress up and dance. Well, most of us do." Pounce avoided Munk's gaze, instead watching Jenny prance around on top of the kitchen counters. 

"That sounds fascinating but that's not what Jenny does in her number here." Munk put an arm around his shoulders and led them both to a curtain draped under the sink. “Now watch the show.”

Jenny shoved a cat out of the way and pulled the curtain open. What lay beneath was beyond words. Pounce, who was never one to hide what he was thinking, gaped at the sight.

“Are those... mice? With... with faces?” In horrified fascination he leaned in closer. 

The mice did indeed have faces. Children’s faces, to be precise. Small, worried, anxious children’s faces. Guess they weren’t having the kittens dress up as mice then to put on a show. This Jenny went for the real deal. The real, horrible deal.

“Is this allowed?” Pounce turned to Jenny. “I don’t know if I feel comfortable watching this.”

Jenny was busy dancing along with the mice. “It’s dinner and a show.”

“But.” Pounce turned back to the mice. “But they’re so scared.”

Jenny flung out an arm, nearly colliding with his head, and sat down next to her stage of horrors. Immediately her hand was caught in a mousetrap. A mousetrap set in front of the mice's only escape route, trapping them forever in this hellish pantomime. Despite his usual inclination to eat mice Pounce felt sorry for these prisoners.

“I have a Gumbie cat in mind.” Munk cut in, trying to bring everyone’s attention away from the gruesome sight. “Her name is-”

“Jennyanydots.” The mice chorused. There was only one explanation Pounce had for their cooperation. They must have been threatened and brainwashed. Which meant that if Jenny was capable of controlling the mice, she might be able to do the same to him.

Pounce tried to look for an escape route but was immediately distracted by the sight of Jenny trying to jump onto the kitchen counter and crashing into a cupboard. Despite the destruction the Gumbie cat was causing Munk continued singing like nothing was wrong. Truly he was a cat of severe perseverance. With misplaced reverence he sang Jenny’s praises, watching her whack herself in the head with the curtain cord and stumble around the shelves, ultimately crooning her name as she once again fell on her face.

Pounce got the impression that maybe Munk secretly enjoyed Jenny’s mishaps. Maybe there was a history between these two, an animosity that was never spoken about but was clearly hanging about out in the open. Why else would Munk have that small smile on his face while Jenny nearly killed herself in front of his eyes?

Vaguely Pounce was aware that, at his Jellicle Ball, he should have been in costume by now to do the roach tap number. Idly he glanced around, noting that none of the other cats had changed into costume, and he wondered just who was going to do the tap number instead. As if reading his thoughts Jenny answered.

“And I’ve even created a Beetles’ Tattoo!” She proclaimed, proudly gesturing to the kitchen around her. Hundreds of roaches poured in from various corners of the room, marching in a straight line from the floor up onto the table. Everyone scurried in for a closer look.

"What… what's wrong with their faces?" Pounce whispered, physically recoiling away from the sight. "Jenny, what have you done to them?"

"Hush, this is my big chance and I'm not having you ruin it." Jenny hissed, slapping him upside the head before dancing away to the middle of the table.

"Oh no… oh no, I'm really not okay with this." Pounce rested his chin on the edge of the table, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight.

"Interesting, isn't it?" Misto popped up next to him. "She really taught them all how to dance."

"WhydotheyhavelittletinyfacesIdon'tlikeitnoooo-" Pounce whimpered, flinching when one of the roaches smiled at him. 

"Don't get cocky." Jenny reached forward and grabbed one of the roaches before biting its head off.

Pounce, despite having definitely eaten his fair share of bugs back at the junkyard, was repulsed at the sight. At least the bugs he ate didn't have little faces. Oh, that image was going to linger, he just knew it. He would never look at a bug the same way again.

Then Jenny decided it was time for her showstopping number. With a flourish she took up her position in the center of the table and without a second's thought reached up to-

"Oh sweet Heaviside and Everlasting Cat above!" Pounce screamed, throwing himself backwards off the table and scrambling across the linoleum. 

"Pounce! What's wrong?" Misto and Munk were immediately at his side.

"What's wrong? She just ripped off her own skin that's what's wrong! Did you seriously not see that? What's wrong with her? Why did she throw her own skin on the floor what's wrong what's wrong-"

"Well, it's just a thing she can do." Munk said rather plainly. He even had the audacity to look at Pounce like he was the crazy one.

"Just a thing- what in the world have you cats seen that makes this all seem normal?"

"Jellicle cats are anything but normal."

"Yeah, well, they're supposed to be a lot of things but I'm pretty damn sure that skin ripping is not one of them." Pounce tried to scramble out the window but was hauled back by Munk.

“You said you’d stay until Old Deuteronomy could meet you.” Munk easily held him off the ground.

“Oh sure, yeah.” Pounce wiggled in protest. “I’d love to meet him and watch him rip his own skin off too, you all are sick-”

“Old Deuteronomy does not rip her skin off.” Misto said.

“You sure?”

“I’m certain of it.” Munk put him down on the floor.

“Only if you promise.”

Munk sighed. “I promise that Jenny is the only one who... who rips her skin off.”

Pounce peeked at the Gumbie abomination. She had finished up the routine and was now dangling from the kitchen lights, hanging above the remains of a destroyed cake. No one else seemed to mind that her flesh was laying forgotten on the floor. 

“I promise too.” Misto said, patting him on the shoulder.

“Fine. But I’m not okay with the mice or roaches.” Pounce muttered. “Someone needs to take a look at those. I’m gonna have nightmares.”

Pounce could only wonder just what was in store for the rest of the evening. He was in it now, there was no turning back. Maybe this would be the worst of it and he would find himself enjoying the rest of the evening. And then maybe, maybe he would wake up and be able to tell Tumble all about this fever dream.

“Mmm, meow.” A new voice interrupted Pounce’s thoughts. Everyone turned to look at the newcomer draped over a shelf.

“Hm?” Jenny, still dangling from the kitchen light, looked over with absolute disgust.

“It’s a little old fashioned, don’t you think?” The cat gestured with an enormous turkey leg. “With the cockroaches, the dancing and the mice singing? Well, actually, the mice were really good. Well it’s all a bit old school-”

“Get out.” Jenny growled.

Pounce stared up at the cat, noting the fluffy mane, the cocky, confident attitude. Finally there might be a cat that he actually recognized. Pounce was fairly certain that in all the alternate universes in the world there was only room for one Rum Tum Tugger.

“Let’s dance!” The cat shrieked, flying across the room and landing on the table in a single leap.

“Oh.” Pounce sighed.

He was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all ready for Tugger. I wasn't.


	2. Curious Cats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pounce meets a few more Jellicles and embarks on a long suffering journey to get a decent meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot of fun to write. As a result of this story I now own Cats 2019 and have watched it numerous times. While it still disturbs me greatly I can appreciate the sheer insanity of it. Truly it is a one of a kind experience.

“The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat.” Jenny howled as the Rum Tum Tugger began to gyrate in front of her.

Pounce winced at the sight. To be fair it was hard to live up to a cat of Tugger’s magnitude. There was just something so unique about him that everyone wanted to emulate, Pounce included, but it was something that couldn’t be easily replicated. 

Watching Jennyanydots and the Rum Tum Tugger have a bit of a dance off was unexpected. Not entirely welcome, but at least it a distraction from the previous flesh ripping, child faced, horrifying cockroach and mouse routine he had just been subjected to. Although Pounce was having trouble determining if the coat that Tugger was wearing was made out of his own fur, someone else’s fur, or something else entirely. After witnessing Jenny peel her own flesh off of her body anything was possible at this point.

“If you offer me pheasant, I’d rather have grouse.” Tugger stated, hucking the leg of meat he was carrying into the air. 

Forlornly Pounce watched it bounce across the kitchen floor. Even in the midst of the most confusing night of his life he couldn’t help but be hungry. All around him the cats sang along with Tugger’s song, following him in his frantic path around the kitchen. 

“Guess in every universe Tugger still commands everybody’s attention.” Pounce could take a bit of comfort in that. And at least the beat was still catchy.

Somehow Tugger had wound up inside the refrigerator. Pounce was busy puzzling that one out when Tugger set his sights on a new target.

“If you set me on a mouse then I only want a rat.” The cat slid on his knees across the kitchen floor, picking up a mouse and dangling it by its tail. 

“No! No!” The mouse begged for its life, tears streaming down its tiny child face.

“If you set me on a rat then I’d rather chase a mouse.” Tugger flicked his wrist and the mouse went soaring towards Pounce. Quickly Pounce caught it before it smashed into the ground, clutching it to his chest protectively.

“Thanks, Tugger!” The mouse shrieked. Pounce hurriedly set it on the floor and wiped his paws on his fur. 

“For he will do as he do do!” All the queens were following Tugger’s every move. 

Sensing an opportunity to leave this kitchen of horrors behind, Pounce found himself swept up in the action, following everyone up a flight of stairs towards the door. Tugger dove through a flap in the door, only to surge back in with terrifying speed.

“And there’s no doing anything about- awow- awow it!” Tugger’s face was just centimeters from his own, giving Pounce a up close and personal view of his disconcerting facial features.

“Argh!” Pounce somersaulted backwards down the stairs to avoid kissing those prominent lips. In his haste he took Mistoffelees down with him. The two lay at the bottom of the stairs in a heap as the other cats thundered past them to follow Tugger outside.

“I think I might have sprained something.” Pounce complained. “I didn’t think he would be that unsettling up close, what happened to his lips? Why does he even have lips?”

“The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore.” Misto responded by holding up a hand of cards to his face.

“What? I don’t want to play cards right now, get those out of my face!” Pounce batted them away. “Why don’t you tell Tugger that he’s boring yourself?”

The Mistoffelees he knew certainly wouldn’t have wasted time in dancing around the subject. If Misto thought Tugger was boring he absolutely made certain that Tugger knew it. It was more of a game between the two of them and not this weird, misplaced animosity that Pounce didn’t even want to begin to figure out.

Misto sniffed indignantly but did not respond.

“And tell me something, why do you all have lips and stuff?” Pounce gestured to his face. “What happened to your noses? Don’t lie to me, you’ve got the same lips that he does. ‘S not natural.”

“Lips? Noses? How hard did you hit your head?” Misto tried to push down the fur between Pounce's ears to check for injuries. “Maybe we should have Munk take a look-”

“Nevermind, I don’t need to know!” It was only a matter of time before they pinned him down and shaved him so he looked like everyone else, he just knew it. They’d never take him alive if they wanted to take his fluffy fur away from him. 

Pounce made it to the top of the stairs just in time to run headfirst into Jenny and Munk, who were standing next to the house to watch Tugger’s antics. It did not escape his notice that Jenny had put her skin suit back on over her sparkly outfit. The very thought made him shudder.

“Do you think he just got neutered?” Jenny asked, holding on to Munk’s arm as Tugger hit a particularly high note. “’cause those notes are like, hiiiiigh!”

“What?” Pounce crouched down, wincing in sympathy as he covered himself with his tail.

Munk laughed, clearly delighted by the thought of Tugger losing his manhood. 

Luckily Jenny and Munk’s disturbing conversation was interrupted by the reappearance of the cats wearing shoes. If Pounce remembered right one of them was Plato. Now that would have been an interesting sight at the Jellicle Ball back home: Imagine what Victoria would have said if Plato waltzed up to do the pas de deux with her while wearing sneakers. If Pounce ever made it back home he had to make it happen, if only to see the pure confusion on Victoria’s face.

As Pounce contemplated just where one could find cat sized shoes he noticed that Jenny and Munk were continuing their previous discussion. 

“I can dance how he dances too.” Jenny scoffed.

“Let me see.” Munk said as both he and Pounce tore their gazes away from Tugger to look at her. She proceeded to do a series of spastic movements that seriously made Pounce wonder if she had incurred some sort of injury during her previous flailing around the kitchen.

“It’s easy.” She mumbled, clearly knocked off balance by her own gyrations.

“That... that was really something, Jenny.” For once in his life Pounce thought before he spoke, if only to avoid inciting her wrath.

There was no reason to hang around after that statement. Pounce darted off towards the rest of the crowd, careful not to let Jenny get a good look at him lest she start gossiping about him behind his back. 

“The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast.” A group of queens draped themselves all over Tugger.

“At least that’s a familiar sight.” Pounce muttered. 

“My disobliging ways are a matter of habit.” Tugger proclaimed, sauntering up to the queen that had interrogated Pounce earlier about his name. Together they started to dance the bit that was usually reserved for Bombalurina, but it was clear to see that this was not the same Jellicle queen.

“Wait a second.” Pounce looked around. “Where’s Bomba?”

He couldn’t believe that he had forgotten about the most beautiful queen of all the Jellicles. Silently he muttered a prayer for forgiveness as he tried to locate her in the increasing crowd of queens. Tugger always flirted around with her during his songs, the banter adding to his whole image, and she definitely gave as much back to him as he gave to her. But so far as Pounce could see there was no sign of Bombalurina anywhere.

“For I only like...” Tugger turned, eyes landing on Pounce. Slowly he approached, mouth parted in anticipation. “What I find for myself. Uh!”

Now, Pounce was more than happy to receive Tugger’s attention, but the level of pure lust in Tugger’s eyes was more than he bargained for. In a fit of desperation Pounce stuck out a foot to push Tugger away. To his dismay Tugger grabbed his foot and brought it up to his mouth, closing his eyes and sighing a hot breath across his toes in ecstasy. Those fleshy lips were moments away from latching themselves onto his toes.

“Whu- where are you going with this, Tugger.” Pounce recoiled, unable to escape from Tugger’s vice grip on his foot. “Even for you this is a little much-”

“Stop milking it!” Jenny yelled from across the street.

Tugger threw Pounce’s foot aside in favor of gyrating with some of the other cats. Gratefully Pounce took his leave and sidled up to the one cat he was certain wouldn’t try to suck his toes. Both he and Misto watched as Tugger shrugged off his coat and abandoned it in the street.

“Hey, Misto.” Pounce whispered. “Is Tugger wearing a real fur coat or what? What’s it made of?”

The magician wasn’t listening. He was too busy hiding his face behind his playing cards, peeking around to stare at Tugger with clear disdain.

“Uh, you know, you can go over there with the others.” Pounce said. “You don’t have to be all aloof and stuff.”

Misto did not respond. Clearly now was not the right time to inspire change.

“Fine.” Pounce rolled his eyes. “But you’re eventually gonna have to talk to him.”

“Why?” Misto asked, shooting him a pained look. “Why would I ever need to talk to him?”

“Because how else is he gonna sing your prais-” Pounce was interrupted by the building before him lighting up in a flash of bright neon lights, illuminating a bar that seemed solely designed to distribute milk.

Pounce’s stomach growled. There was no way he was missing this opportunity. The other cats had the same idea, everyone charging for the bar and enthusiastically lapping up as much milk as they could manage. He didn’t even care that Tugger was literally dancing around his head with his fan club, his stomach had taken over his brain for the time being. 

“Nah, nah, no more milk.” Abruptly Tugger ran back outside in a frenzied hurry, only to pause, turn to the sky and scream at the top of his lungs. “MIIIILK! WOOOO!”

Pounce choked in alarm, shooting milk out his nose. “Gah!”

“The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat.” Everyone chorused, following Tugger back inside yet again.

“And there isn’t any need for me to spout it.” Tugger proclaimed, ignoring Pounce’s choking and sputtering.

“For he will do as he do do.”

“Aaand there’s nooooooooo doing anythiiiiiiiiiing aboooooout....” Tugger, seemingly transfixed by his reflection in the big mirror behind the bar, sang each note for what seemed like an hour apiece. “Aboooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut....”

Somehow Pounce found himself up at the bar squeezed between two enthusiastic queens. Hastily he wiped the milk from his nose in case any of them were looking his way. He needn’t have worried, for everyone’s eyes were glued to Tugger.

“There’s no doing anythiiiiiiiiiiiing yeeeeeaaaaaahuh-” Tugger continued. “Aboooooooouuuuuut....”

Pounce was too busy checking out the girls around him to notice the fingers gripping his wrists. What he wasn’t too busy to notice was that he was being suddenly lifted into the air.

“Hey!” Pounce shrieked. “This is harassment!”

Tugger looked down. “Wait. You’re not a queen.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Dunno what to tell you.” Pounce shrugged. “’S been a weird night for all of us, I imagine.”

Tugger promptly dropped him on his head and darted outside. Pounce was too busy yelling curses to notice that, once again, all the other cats were disappearing all around him, running off into the dark corners of the buildings up and down the street.

“Tugger, you’re a right bast- Oh, hey, uh, lady. Didn’t see you there.” 

A new cat was staggering towards him, inadvertently taking the brunt of his yelling. She was also wearing a fur coat. Once again Pounce wondered if it was a coat of her fur, a coat of someone else’s fur, or just a coat. The need to know threatened to consume him.

“Hey, so, are you wearing a real coat or what-”

“Remark, the cat.” The new cat sang at him. “Who hesitates towards you.”

“Excuse me, but I think out of all of us here I look the most approachable.” Pounce gestured to them both. “At least I don’t look like I’ve been shaved recently. And I also happen to actually resemble a cat, thank you very much.”

The cat gaped at him for a moment but rallied and continued. “In the light of the door which opens toward her, like a grin.”

“Thanks for that imagery, can’t wait to sleep on that tonight.” Something wasn’t right. He had heard these words before. Briefly he remembered Tumble and Plato whispering urgently in his ear, goading him to do something to somebody, but what was it? And why was he remembering this now of all times?

“You see, the border of her coat is torn, and stained with sand-”

“Yeah, that’s what I keep asking, is that a coat made out of your fur or what? Inquiring minds need to know!” Pounce stomped his foot. He’d have to remember what Tumble and Plato had told him to do later. Now was time to focus on important stuff.

His mind was so focused on the possibilities of what the coat could be that he was unaware that the singing was continuing without him. Quickly he tuned back in. The two queens that had asked him about his name before were singing to him.

“She haunted many a low resort. Near the grimy road of Tottenham Court.” The sleek brown queen from before crooned right in his ear. “She flitted about the no man’s land. From the Rising Sun to the Friend at Hand.”

“Hey, so this is probably not the right time, but you keep popping up.” Pounce whispered to her. “What’s your name? You demanded mine but never told me yours.”

It wasn’t really a surprise when she ignored him. Her friend, a silver and white queen, sang right over the top of his question.

“And the postman sighed as he scratched his head. You’d really have thought she’d ought to be dead.”

“Hey, now, that’s kinda harsh.” Pounce looked at the cat before them. Sure, she was pretty raggedy and definitely needed to wipe her nose, but she was clearly young. Maybe all she needed was a bath and to shed the jacket and she’d be fine. 

“And who’d have ever supposed that that was Grizabella the glamour cat." The queens introduced the new cat with as much hostility as they could muster.

“Wait, you’re saying that this is-” Pounce didn’t get to finish his sentence. Munk clamped a hand on the back of his neck to silence him.

“Who’d have ever supposed that that was Grizabella the glamour cat.” Everyone chorused around him.

“That’s Grizabella?” Pounce watched her hiss and stagger off on all fours, trailing her mysterious fur coat behind her. “No way. She’s not nearly as janky as the Griz I know. What’d she do here to make you all so mad at her? Did she shave one of you guys and use your fur for her coat?”

“She used to be the star of the Windmill.” Misto said, as if that explained everything.

“Then she went with Macavity.” Munk did absolutely nothing to clarify that statement.

“Now she lives on the wasteland.” The brown queen added.

“Oh, thanks, that really clears it up.” Pounce shrugged off the warning hand Munk had laid on his shoulder. 

At least that explained why he suddenly remembered Tumble and Plato egging him on. During his first Jellicle Ball of the night the two had convinced him to run up and pretend to reach out to Grizabella in friendship, only to turn and scratch her at the last minute when she least expected it. Sure, he was bound to receive some kind of punishment from Munk for that stunt, but it was pretty funny. At least he had thought so in the moment.

A small, minuscule twinge of guilt flickered inside him as he watched this alternate Grizabella crawl away on all fours, shakily breathing and crying to herself. At least all he had done to this one was inadvertently yell at her. She’d be fine. Probably.

Munk and Misto stepped up next to him, intending to herd him to the next unsettling stop on their confusing tour, only to pause as heavy, ominous footsteps echoed down the street. Pounce ducked behind Munk. No matter what universe he was in he would always seek refuge behind the nearest available Munkustrap.

The footsteps grew closer. A huge, looming shadow trailed along the wall. 

“Oh what now?” Pounce moaned. “My heart’s gonna give out from all this.”

“Good evening, all!” A jovial voice greeted them.

“Oh no, look what the cat dragged in.” Jenny groaned.

A very rotund tuxedo tomcat waltzed down the street, wearing a black coat, hat and spats. There was something familiar about him but Pounce was too busy looking at the fleshy hands protruding from the sleeves to notice. Seriously, what was going on with their limbs? Where was the fluffy fur?

“Oh my, you look absolutely starving.” The newcomer said, breaking Pounce out of his revere. 

“I am!” Pounce proclaimed as the cat patted his hollow stomach. Fleshy hands or not, this cat was already a-ok in his book so long as there was food in the near future.

“You can’t attend the ball on an empty stomach.”

“You really can’t, it’s truly a crime.” Maybe if he agreed with everything this cat said he would get fed. “So, you got food somewhere or what?”

“Yeah. He wants to be reborn as a thin cat so he can get fat all over again.” Jenny sidled up next to him and slapped the cat’s stomach. “But he’s going to lose!”

“How dare you! Don’t listen to her.” The cat said. 

“Don’t you listen to him-”

“Hey, I thought you liked Bustopher. Like, a lot” Pounce interrupted, suddenly realizing who this newcomer was. “Thought you had a thing going on between you two. Didn’t he give you flowers or something?”

“What? Me, with him? Absolutely not.” Jenny scoffed. “Have you seen the state of him?”

“You know, this is gonna be real weird coming from me, but you’re kinda being really rude.” Even Pounce, who had to be constantly reminded of his manners by his version of Jennyanydots, felt that this incarnation of Jenny was taking it a little too far. 

“Me, rude?” Jenny scoffed. “He is a complete and utter bas-”

“I’m Bustopher Jones, I’m not skin and bones.” Bustopher looped an arm through Pounce’s and waltzed him down the street, the other cats trailing behind. "In fact I'm remarkably fat!"

Pounce couldn’t help but grin. Oh, if only the toms back home could see him now. Skimbleshanks, Munk and Alonzo had taken far too much time out of their busy schedules to corral the male kittens and force them how to be, in no uncertain terms, ‘respectable’ and ‘presentable’. Honestly Pounce had spaced out during most of it but he did know that if Bustopher approved of you, you had the chance to join him at the clubs and be privy to a wealth of food and luxury. So whenever the St. James’s street cat showed up it was worth at least trying to put in an effort to be noticed.

So far neither he nor Tumble had been impressive enough to catch Bustopher’s eye. But look at him now. Arm in arm with Bustopher Jones, wouldn’t Tumble be jealous! Delightedly Pounce danced a little jig in time with Bustopher’s movements.

“Yeah, you’ve got it.” Bustopher said encouragingly. “Here we go. Ha ha! Ready?”

“You bet I am!” Pounce cheered. Already he could taste all the delicious treats that were undoubtedly waiting for him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jenny hesitate, turning back to talk to the tall, dark cat in the trench coat that suddenly appeared in the street.

If he wasn’t about to indulge himself in a smorgasbord of delectable delights Pounce might have gone back to see what the mystery cat had to say to her. But Pounce was a cat of simple wants and what he really wanted was to stuff his face with food. So he turned away and dove through the open door. Jenny would catch up later, he was sure. Maybe.

Inside was the fanciest hall Pounce had ever seen. His eyes widened in wonder. For a brief moment he could forget all the disturbing things he had seen that night and bask in the sheer luxury all around him. Oh, he was definitely bragging to everyone back home about this. Once he ate his body weight in caviar and rice pudding.

“And we’re all of us proud to be nodded and bowed to by Bustopher Jones in white spats!” Everyone sang, Pounce included. Yes sir, he was very proud to be one of Bustopher’s chosen.

“Alright, I dunno about you, but I am absolutely, one hundred percent ready for breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner, dunch, supper, whatever.” Excitedly he looked all around the fancy hall for some fancy grub. “Lead the way.”

The crowd stepped out the back door into the alley. Bustopher nodded to another black and white cat, who, with incredible precision, reached out and whipped all of Bustopher’s clothes off his body in one go. With a happy sigh Bustopher held out his arm for Pounce to take once more.

“Er.” Pounce hesitantly took the offered arm. “Why’d you take off your clothes?”

Was Bustopher naked now? He still had fur, but he had been wearing clothes just a second ago that he took off... but no inappropriate bits were showing. And he still kept his spats on. The Bustopher he was used to hadn’t shown up at his Jellicle Ball and ripped all his clothes off so Pounce never had to think about it. Still, the fact that Pounce had to wonder if this Bustopher was naked or not was almost enough to put him off his promised dinner.

“My visits are occasional, to the Senior Educational-” Bustopher took a step forward, slipped, and almost brought them both to their knees. “And it is against the rules-”

“Seriously, does everyone here have a balance issue?” Pounce was tempted to pull away but stubbornly held on because, surely, there would be mutton in it for him if he stuck it out.

“For any one cat to belong both to that and the joint superior schools.” Bustopher ignored him, gesturing proudly to the area around them.

“Um.” Pounce sniffed. They were surrounded by garbage cans. “This is it?”

“Isn’t it wonderful?” Bustopher’s assistant, the one who could undress a cat in an instant, asked.

“This is garbage. I can get this myself.” Sullenly he kicked the side of a trash can. “If I decide to lower my standards.”

So this was the big reward for impressing Bustopher? A buffet of garbage? Pounce would have to have some serious words with Munk, Skimble and Alonzo when he got back home. Tumble was going to be so disappointed that all their attempts at being presentable citizens was a huge waste of time. No use trying to impress anyone if the reward was this.

Mournfully he watched Bustopher roll around in the garbage cans, too disappointed to even laugh as Misto and the others tried to keep the fat cat contained. Sure, there were some salvageable scraps spilling out onto the alleyway floor, but Pounce had really been hoping for something grander. At least something served in a dish.

No one else seemed to mind. In fact, they were reveling in it. Everyone gathered around as Bustopher stood at the base of the largest metal can, perched on a makeshift teeter totter. Bustopher’s assistant prepared to jump on the other end.

Bustopher struck a pose and sang triumphantly. “And just before noon’s, not a moment too soon-” 

Everything ground to a halt. The assistant had tried to propel Bustopher in the air but even Pounce knew that it was going to take a lot more to get a cat of his caliber off the ground.

“Right, well that’s not going to work, is it? Okay?” Bustopher asked, looking upon the other cat with uncharacteristic disdain. “Look at you, and look at me, and you know, you know that I’m sensitive about my size, okay?”

“Now that’s not right. I know for a fact that he’s not sorry about his weight.” Pounce said to Misto as Bustopher hissed at his cringing assistant. “That’s the whole reason we care about his opinion in the first place. He’s cool because he’s got all this access to food. If he wasn’t fat then what would be the point?”

The magic cat shrugged before conjuring a heavy weight from thin air. Out of pity Pounce and Munk helped him carry it up to the top of the teeter totter to prepare to jump and propel Bustopher upwards. Pounce was never going to deny another cat the chance to achieve flight, especially since leaping into the air off of high spaces was one of his favorite past times.

Okay, and yes, he really wanted to see just how high Bustopher could go. Consider it retaliation for lying about eating luxurious foods. A malicious grin spread across his face as he gleefully took up his position next to Misto.

“Let’s gather up a few more of the.... cats... and we’ll try again, shall we?” Bustopher paused in chastising his assistant that had done nothing but help him all night, giving Pounce an uncertain glance.

Pounce did not miss the hesitation in Bustopher’s voice and grinned wider. The St. James’s Street cat was about to learn not to make empty promises to Pouncival’s stomach.

“And... Five, six, seven- and just before noon’s not a moment too soon- Hey!” Up, up, up Bustopher went. And down, down, down he fell, landing astride the rim of the can. “Ooh! Gaaaaaah....”

“Oof, he’s not going to be able to walk that one off.” Pounce cringed. “Hope he was done having kittens.”

He needn’t have wondered. Bustopher bounced back quickly, proceeding to frolic about the alleyway and stuffing all sorts of refuse in his gaping maw.

“Hey, so, if you’re not gonna actually feed me, I think I’m just gonna go.” Pounce said as Bustopher danced by. 

The St. James’s Street cat responded by spitting directly in his face.

“What the hell?” Pounce sputtered. “Why you-”

“Hey, hey, easy does it.” Misto just barely held him back.

“Lemme at him, I don’t care if you guys like him, he’s a- he’s a naked, trash eating alley cat!” Pounce took a swipe at Bustopher’s back but missed. “Forget it, I’m never gonna try and put on any airs and graces around him anymore. Someone else can be part of his garbage club.”

Misto tried to placate him with a wilting piece of asparagus. Pounce slapped it right out of his teeth.

“You all enjoy this- this- I dunno even know what to call it.” Gesticulating wildly around him, Pounce stomped off down the alley to get some air. “He’s just a monster in spats, that’s what he is.”

“Spats?” A cat questioned high above him.

Someone screamed something back in the alley but Pounce was too busy grumbling to hear it clearly.

“Puss in Spats. I love it.” The cat chuckled.

“Oh, I bet you’d love it if you were promised a real fancy high society dinner and got welcomed by stinking garbage.” Pounce grumbled, looking up at his sudden company. “Oh hey, I remember you.”

It was the cat in the hat and trench coat again. At least this cat’s coat, while fuzzy, resembled more of an actual coat than all the others Pounce had seen so far. Still odd that he was wearing clothes, but not as odd as clothes that were potentially made of other cat’s flesh. 

“Hungry?” The cat whispered. 

“Everlasting Cat, yes!” Pounce groaned. “Everyone keeps asking me that and I keep saying yes but do I get any food? No! This is my worst nightmare!”

“You look like you haven’t eaten for days!”

“Well, I’d be lying if I agreed with you, but I- hey!” Pounce looked up just in time to see Bustopher approach the mystery cat. “He’s talking to me you loaf!”

“Well come on, Puss in Spats!” The cat egged Bustopher on. “You can do it.”

Pounce growled. "I swear if you swipe another meal from me I'm gonna-"

Too late. Bustopher leapt into the garbage can at the other cat’s feet. 

“Ineffable.” The cat gestured with a hand and disappeared into thin air. 

Pounce was too outraged at Bustopher stealing his meal to notice and jumped up to the rim of the can to properly berate him. To his surprise and immense disappointment the can was completely empty.

“Hey, uh, does anyone care that Bustopher just straight up vanished into the garbage? No?” Pounce looked around him. “Guys?”

Once again he was left alone. It was becoming very annoying. 

“Do you guys want me to stick around and see the Jellicle Ball or what? ‘cause if you do, running away from me and leaving me alone at every chance you get is really sending me mixed messages here.”

Silence. Guess he was on his own then.

“Better take a look around.” With a bit of scrambling he was up on top of the nearest wall.

“Can we help you?” A stranger suddenly asked.

“Gah!” Pounce took a swing but was quickly grabbed by the wrists and hung over the edge of the wall.

“You really shouldn’t be out alone.” Another voice told him, using her tail to turn his face towards hers. He found himself staring at a pair of calicos, the same calico cats that he had seen earlier in the night.

“I’m not alone, I was with these guys who all just straight up abandoned me after forcing me to stick with them. Talk about rude-”

“Friends?”

“Absolutely not, no friend of mine lies to me about dinner and abandons me in the middle of nowhere.”

“Looks like they’ve run away and left you.” The calico tom observed.

“That’s what I just said!” Pounce wiggled a bit.

“Don’t worry, we’ll look after you, won’t we?” The calico queen said, exchanging a glance with her partner. “Why don’t you come inside?”

“Great, I can’t wait.” Limply Pounce hung in their grasp. “Might as well get on with it then.”

Together the two lifted him back up onto the wall so he could stand on his own feet.

“Hey, weren’t you two trying to break through a window with a brick earlier?” Pounce wondered as he rubbed his sore wrists. “Yeah, I remember seeing you guys. Who are you?”

“Mungojerrie.” The calico tom introduced himself.

“And Rumpleteazer.” The calico queen grinned.

“We’re a notorious couple of-”

“I know you guys!” Pounce proclaimed. “Kinda surprised to see you two hanging around. Didn’t know you lived near Bustopher. Did you know that he lies about eating in the clubs? It’s all garbage, very scandalous really-”

“You know us?” Mungojerrie asked, exchanging another look with Rumpleteazer. "What's your name?"

“My name's Pouncival. Call me Pounce. And yeah, I know you guys. Well, not really you guys. But other versions of you guys." He received twin skeptical looks. "Uh, really long story. But you said something about going inside?”

“Oh, yes. We make our home in Victoria Grove.” Mungojerrie said, leading Pounce towards a fancy flat. “This is merely our center of operation for we are incurably given to rove.”

“We are very well known in Cornwell Gardens, in Launceston Place and in Kensington Square.” Rumpleteazer added as they crouched in front of an open window. “We have-”

“Yeah, sorry, dunno any of those places.” Pounce interrupted, ducking inside without waiting for the other two. “Hey, this is a pretty fancy place. You actually live here?”

The bedroom was plush and filled with all sorts of breakable, shiny objects. Light spilled into the room from an open door that undoubtedly led to an equally fancy house. Mungojerrie jumped down next to him, pushing him up against the wall and gesturing for him to stay put. Cautiously the calico crept up to the door, peering down the hall. With a satisfied nod he gave the all clear.

Rumpleteazer appeared at Pounce’s side and, seeing the anticipation in his eyes, led him over to the vanity. Together they rifled through the jewelry while Mungojerrie busied himself with flinging clothes out of the massive chest of drawers.

“If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chest and you can’t find one of your winter vests.” Mungojerrie narrated, throwing a pair of underwear onto the floor. “Or after supper one of the girls-”

“Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls-” Rumpleteazer went to drape a set of pearls around his neck but found that he had already put on a necklace of his own. She shrugged and tossed them aside.

“The family will say ‘It’s that horrible cat.’.” The two chorused, heading off towards the bed.

“It was Mungojerrie.” Rumpleteazer proclaimed as Pounce charged past her and bounced onto the mattress. 

“Or Rumpleteazer.” Mungojerrie jumped up next to him. “And most of the time they leave it at that.”

To Pounce’s delight Mungojerrie used the mattress as a makeshift trampoline, leaping up onto the headboard and laughing gleefully before flipping back onto the pillows. Now here was something Pounce was good at. He was more than happy to wreak a little havoc after what he had been through tonight.

“You don’t have to persuade me to destroy your house with song, I’m all for it.” With a well placed jump he perched on top of the headboard, grinning down at the two of them. “I’ve got a lot of steam to let off.”

They barely had time to dive out of the way as he pounced onto the bed, his weight bouncing them across the mattress. The bedspread was slippery and he had to dig in his claws to keep from sliding clear off the bed. With a loud rip the fabric tore, sending bits of thread everywhere.

“Where to next?” Pounce bounced up and down excitedly.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer both gave him a long, calculating look. Something about these two was more... sinister than the Jerrie and Teazer he knew. They seemed smoother, more calculating, less rambunctious. Briefly Pounce wondered just what kinds of crimes these two might have committed.

“Right this way.” Rumpleteazer purred, slipping a ring onto his wrist.

“Wow. Your humans got some real big fingers.” His comment went unnoticed. 

The three of them danced down a flight of stairs, taking great care to scratch up the carpet as they went. Now this was the kind of dancing he could get behind. No need to be careful not to crash into others or watch his step. So what if he accidentally ran into something breakable? Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer encouraged his destructive inclinations and he sure wasn’t going to question it.

Before he knew it Pounce found himself in the most important room in the house. His eyes grew wide as he took in the sight of an elaborately set dining room table. Hesitantly he sniffed the air.

“Is that... is that what I think it is?” He breathed.

“When the family assembles for Sunday dinner, their minds made up that they won’t get thinner-” Rumpleteazer gestured towards the dinner laid out above them.

Pounce leapt onto the table, scattering the silverware, and immediately latched onto a delicious roast. Nothing else mattered at this point.

“On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens-” Rumpleteazer stepped out of the way as he rolled across the table with his prize.

“Mmmph.” Pounce was too busy stuffing his face to listen along. Truly this was going to be the highlight of his night. Forget experiencing the Jellicle Ball twice in one night, forget meeting bizarro versions of the friends he thought he knew, this was what he was going to remember for the rest of his life.

“Uh, Pounce, might want to take it easy.” Mungojerrie said as he crashed into a bowl and sent peas flying everywhere. Together the notorious couple of cats tried to pull him away from the roast but he was having none of it. Protectively he crouched over his prize.

“Get yer own.” Pounce growled. “I’ve waited way too long for this.”

“Alright, alright.” They backed off.

“There won’t be a Sunday dinner after he’s done with it.” Rumpleteazer remarked.

“Forget that, there won’t be anything for Monday or Tuesday at this rate.” Mungojerrie clutched a roll to his chest. “He’s eating us out of house and home.”

The two of them watched Pounce consume the roast. If they were disturbed he didn’t notice. In a flash he demolished the roast, a shocking amount of potatoes, several rolls, and a smattering of greens. In his haste he managed to wreck every dish around him.

“Alright, that was superb.” Pounce belched loudly once he was satisfied. “Way better than whatever Bustopher was trying to sell me back in the garbage.”

“Yeah....” Mungojerrie herded Pounce off the table. “That was a sight I soon won’t forget. Where does it all go?”

“I dunno. But what’s next?” Now that he was full he was buzzing with energy. Time to run some of it off.

“He’s going through the house like a hurricane.” Rumpleteazer said, ducking as Pounce ricocheted off a chair and headed back towards the stairs.

Up the stairs he ran, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer following close behind. With a complicated tumble he spun around and jumped up onto the railing. Down the banister he went, soaring down the polished wood with incredible speed. It was too late to pump the brakes and he flew off the end of the railing, somersaulting through the air and crashing headfirst into a vase. With a tremendous smash it exploded into a million little pieces.

“Um, I didn’t do that.” Pounce said, dusting bits of porcelain off of himself. “It was Mungojerrie.”

Mungojerrie gave him a sour look from the top of the stairs.

“Oh, did I say Mungojerrie? I meant Rumpleteazer.”

Rumpleteazer cleared her throat. She was standing next to Mungojerrie.

“Yeah, er, maybe we should just leave it at that go back upstairs.”

Back to the bedroom they went. The three of them frolicked on the bed. Someone snagged a pillow and tore it open in a flurry of stuffing. Gleefully Pounce started to rip the bedspread to shreds, kicking at pillows and sending feathers flying everywhere. 

"Hey, Pounce, you might want to dial it back a little." Even Rumpleteazer seemed surprised to hear the words come out of her own mouth. "We certainly like to cause a fuss, but this is also our home."

“You look tired. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable?” Mungojerrie suggested, gesturing to the remains of the bed.

“Yes, finally.” With a contented trill Pounce sprawled out on the ruined blanket. He was fed, he was comfortable, and no strange, unsettling Jellicles were around to disturb him. Wherever Munk and Misto and the others were didn’t matter to him anymore.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer stretched out on either side of him. It was probably to ensure that he didn’t get up and wreak more havoc on their home, but he didn’t mind. Within seconds he was snoring. If left to his own devices he would happily sleep well into the next day.

Unfortunately the universe had other plans for him. The barking of a dog jolted them out of their relaxation. All three of them bolted off the bed, aiming for the open window. Pounce rolled forward and was immediately halted in his tracks.

“Ack!” The necklace hanging from his neck was caught around the bedpost. “Help! Help me!”

He looked up just in time to see Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer grin and disappear through the window.

“You two get back here you pair of feline f-”

“I’m coming, Pounce!” Misto’s voice interrupted Pounce’s tirade of swearing. 

To his amazement the magical cat had found him and was now coming to his rescue. To less of his amazement Misto fell in through the window, inadvertently wrapping the discarded underwear around his neck, and stumbled into a pair of high heels. Pounce could only watch as Misto staggered across the floor and, like all of the other cats Pounce had met that night, fell flat on his face.

“Don’t worry! Stay there!” Misto flailed around on the floor as he tried to untangle himself.

“Jeez, Misto, come on.” Pounce muttered, freeing himself from the necklace with a slash of his claws and running to the door. “Just for once try and be capable!”

His words must have stirred something within the magical cat because Misto was suddenly with him at the door, pushing up against it to keep the dog out. With intense concentration Misto pulled a sizable bone out of his hat, giving Pounce an astounded look before chucking it back over his shoulder and out the door. 

“Here doggy, fetch!” To both of their relief the dog retreated.

They didn’t waste a moment waiting for the dog to return. Together they scrambled out through the window, leaving the devastated bedroom behind them. Hopefully Pounce would be able to return to his own home before he could be blamed for the destruction of Victoria Grove.

"Okay, so, I'm pretty sure I'm dead." Pounce said, sounding much more matter of fact about the whole thing than he felt. "That's the only way to explain it."

"You're not dead." Misto insisted as he led the way down the street. "Just… maybe confused. It can be difficult to take in if you're not used to being around so many Jellicles at once."

"Hey, I know my Jellicles. And you guys are not the Jellicles I know. Although you do have the same names and kinda look like them. I guess."

"In what way?"

"Well, for instance, my Misto, the one I know, is also a tuxedo cat. Oh, and he can also do magic stuff. But he's a lot better at it than you are."

Misto visibly deflated. "Really?"

"Uh, I mean, he can do bigger, flashier stuff." Pounce tried to backpedal but the damage had been done. “But I’m sure you can do that too. Eventually. Maybe.”

"No, no, I know I'm not very good yet."

"Look, you're just starting out. Misto back home can pull kittens out of hats, do any trick with cards, shoot lightning bolts, pretty sure he can fly, you know, the usual big flashy stuff. I'm sure that takes practice."

"I suppose- wait, what was that? Did you say lightning bolts?"

"Oh yeah. That seems to be his favorite. Almost blew me up with that one. He says it was an accident but I don't know....” Pounce shuddered. “Tugger sang about him being 'vague and aloof' but even I know that slinging lightning around isn't really subtle."

"Tugger sang about me?” Misto looked at him curiously. “I mean, about him?" 

"Yeah. Made up a whole song for Misto even though Misto called him boring. Definitely helped him bring Old Deut back. I mean, when Tugger sings about you, how could you not feel awesome?"

"What happened to Old Deuteronomy?"

"Oh. Uh." Pounce was suddenly aware that he had said quite a bit about things that might not have happened in this version of the Jellicle Ball. Judging by Misto's current facial expression a lot of what Pounce had said had not happened. 

"What's this about Old Deuteronomy?" Munk, who always seemed to be around precisely when it was most inconvenient, appeared over Misto's shoulder. "Did something happen to her?"

"No, no, he's fine." Pounce waved him off. "I got mixed up talking to Misto-"

"You said that the other me needed help bringing Old Deuteronomy back." Misto said. "Where did Old Deuteronomy go?"

"Nowhere! Jeez!" Clearly he should have kept his mouth shut. Both toms were staring at him like he was crazy. Which, judging by how the night had been going so far, he might as well have been. “Forget I said anything.”

“Where have you been?” Munk suddenly noticed the ring around Pounce’s wrist. “Where’d you get that?”

“Oh, er, it’s mine.” Misto reached for it.

“Excuse me, but I stole this fair and square, get your own!” Pounce hissed. 

“You stole it?” Munk asked, voice tight.

“No, no, it’s mine.” Roughly Misto yanked the ring off of Pounce’s wrist. “Yet another trick that went wrong.”

“What-” Pounce finally noticed just how murderous Munk looked. “Oh. Er. Yep. Definitely one of Misto’s tricks gone wrong. As expected.”

“Don’t need to be rude.” Misto muttered.

“You’re just in time to see Old Deuteronomy.” Munk told them both, obviously trying to steer everyone back on track.

“Old Deuteronomy?” Pounce asked, suddenly feeling uneasy. Everyone else had been so disconcertingly different from the cats that he knew and loved, and he wasn’t ready to see what was different about this version of the wise old Jellicle leader he was familiar with.

There was a sudden shift in the air. 

Whether Pounce liked it or not, Old Deuteronomy was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's that coming out of the mists? Why, it can only be Old Deuteronomy. Prepare yourselves....


	3. Oh My Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is time for the arrival of Old Deuteronomy. Pounce is not ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may seem that I exaggerated some things but I really didn't, I swear. That's all I have to say about this one.

“So, you really do have your own Deuteronomy?” Pounce asked, hoping that maybe he had been hearing things wrong all night. So far as he knew there was only room in the world for one Old Deuteronomy.

He shouldn’t have asked. Munk took that as his cue to start singing again, drawing him and Misto closer to the building everyone was gathered around. It was a run down establishment with stained glass doors and a sign proclaiming it to be “The Egyptian”. It wasn’t a junkyard but at this point Pounce didn’t really care. He was too busy looking for potential escape routes.

“Old Deuteronomy’s lived a long time.” Munk began. “She’s a cat who has lived many lives in succession. She was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme a long while before Queen Victoria’s accession.”

This part was nothing new. Idly Pounce glanced up and saw Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer waving down at him from a ledge, both completely unapologetic for literally leaving him to the wolves. Okay, so it was a dog, but if this is what the cats looked like in this world then who knew what horrible creatures the dogs resembled.

“You smug sons of bitches, I oughta- mmph!” Pounce’s threat was smothered by Munk slapping his hand over his mouth. He settled for shaking his fist at them. “Mmmmf!”

“Old Deuteronomy’s lived many lives.” Munk crooned. “You know, I am tempted to say ninety nine. And her numerous progeny prospers and thrives. And the village is proud of her in her decline.”

“Yeah, well, my Deut’s had like ninety nine wives.” Pounce muttered once Munk released him. Then again, Tugger was the one who had said that, so maybe it wasn’t something to take at face value. Having ninety nine wives would explain all the numerous progeny though.

“At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy when she sits in the sun on the vicarage wall. The oldest inhabitant croaks....” Munk turned to his unwilling audience only to find empty air.

Pounce scurried up the steps to the building, intending on taking shelter inside, but Munk was quick and grabbed him around the middle, hauling him clear off the ground and slinging him over a shoulder.

“Lemme go, I don’t wanna meet your Deut!” His protests went unheard.

Too late. It was time. The air was thick with anticipation. And fog. Inexplicably the streets were filled with mists, rolling down towards the group of cats in a thick blanket that covered their feet. 

“This amount of fog can’t be good.” Pounce remarked as Munk carried him closer. 

Misto, who was following behind, shushed him.

“I’m just saying that this amount of fog never meant anything good was coming-” Abruptly Pounce was dropped onto the ground. “Oof! Ow!”

“Well, of all things.” Munk forcibly turned Pounce around so he was facing the street.

“Can it be really?” Pounce wondered.

“Yes!”

“No.” Pounce whispered.

“Ho, hi-”

“Oh my eyes!” Pounce screamed.

Shambling through the mists was a figure. Tall, pale, wide of shoulder with tiny feet. Closer it crept, ever moving forward, silent as a wraith in the darkest of nights. Terror gripped Pounce’s heart. What creature was this? Was it coming for him? Was this how he was to ultimately meet his fate? At the claws of some fiend that would spell out the very end for him and his kind-

“My mind may be wandering, but I confess, I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!” Munk sang, rushing forward to greet his Jellicle leader.

So this was this universe’s Old Deuteronomy. A Deuteronomy wearing the biggest fur coat of all, a coat that was an exact match to her fur and flesh. There was absolutely no way she had bought such a coat, it had to have been shorn from her flesh and created so that she could wear her own fur on top of what was already growing from her body. 

It finally dawned on Pounce that this Deuteronomy was female. Really, in the grand scheme of things, it was a minor detail. Right now he was much more concerned with the rest of her to worry about the gender difference. Pounce huddled down in the street, heart pounding in his chest. Misto mistook his defensive stance as reverence and bowed down next to him.

“Well of all things, can it be really? Yes?” Misto sang, nudging Pounce to prompt him to join in.

"No, by my eyes. I want my Deut." Pounce whimpered.

Finally Misto took pity on him. “Here, let’s wait for her on the steps. Come on, up you go.”

They took refuge on the outside of the crowd, watching everyone fawn over the Jellicle leader as she ambled closer.

“My legs may be tottery.” Old Deuteronomy declared. “I must go slow-”

Okay. So this Deuteronomy was slow. There was a possibility he could outrun her if needed.

“And be careful of Old Deuteronomy.”

Oh, he’d be careful alright. Careful not to catch her eye lest she turn her unnatural face towards his. Really, it was too much. There was not even a hint of feline features about her besides some whiskers and ears. It haunted him.

“Jellicle cats meet once a year on the night we make the Jellicle choice.” Deuteronomy explained to the overly trusting cats gathered around her. “And now the Jellicle leader is here, Jellicle cats can all rejoice!”

There was no way he would be rejoicing. Had to keep on guard. Who knew when Deuteronomy would make the choice. And who knew how she’d go about it. The possibilities made him shiver.

“Exciting, isn’t it?” Misto asked. “I wonder who it will be?”

“You’d better hope that it’s not you.” Pounce muttered, ducking behind the magical cat when Deuteronomy turned her gaze his way.

“Who will it be? Who will it be?” Everyone echoed.

They needed a distraction. Something to keep Deuteronomy’s attention so that she couldn’t think about which one of them to kill off. Already she was eyeing them in rapt contemplation.

“Oh!” Inspiration struck him. “Munk!”

“Who will it- yes, what is it now?” Munk broke out of the chant to address him. “Did you want me to introduce you to Old Deuteronomy?”

“Absolutely not, never. We’ve got better things to do.” Pounce pulled on the silver tabby’s arm.

“What could possibly be more important than what’s happening now?” Clearly Munk was only humoring him because he wanted to know what crazy thing Pounce was going to say next. Pounce could see the curious glint in his eyes.

“Pekes and Pollicles!”

“What and what?”

Pounce gaped at him. Munk had to be joking. There was no way that this Munkustrap did not care about the single most important part of the Jellicle Ball. Well, maybe not the most important part, but it was important enough for Munk to run everyone through hours and hours of grueling rehearsals to make sure that the show was perfect for Old Deuteronomy. Although, judging by how every year things always went wrong, Pounce wondered if Deuteronomy enjoyed watching it year after year just to see what new chaos would ensue.

“You know, The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and Pollicles?” Pounce tried again. “Together with some account of the participation of the Pugs and the Poms? And the intervention of the Great Rumpus Cat? Speaking of, if you still need one I’d be an excellent choice, I’ve practiced and everything, not to mention that out of all of us I have the most hair-”

“Please, we can discuss this later. It’s time to go inside.” Munk turned away, leaving Pounce and all of his Great Rumpus Dreams behind.

“Jellicle cats come out tonight.” Deuteronomy started to chant, drawing the Jellicles near to her. “Jellicle cats come one come all.”

“Oh, so we’re just jumping right in to the ball then. Alright.” Pounce slumped up against the steps. “No Pekes and Pollicles, I get it. No, no, it’s fine, not like it’s one of the best parts of whole night. I should have known after the cockroach debacle at Jenny’s house that you guys aren't into costumes.”

“The Jellicle moon is shining bright. Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.” Deuteronomy wasn’t singing. It was more of a commandment.

“Jellicle cats are black and white.” Around her the cats crept closer, voices blending together as one, chanting and breathing in sync. “Jellicle cats are rather small.”

Pounce felt his fur stand on end. This frantic mantra was striking the wrong chord.

“Jellicle cats are merry and bright-”

“Hey, that’s my line!” The outrage overrode his terror. “That’s like the only thing I get to say in the whole Jellicle ball and you guys just steamroll over it, come on-”

“And pleasant to hear when the caterwaul.” Misto took the opportunity to shove Pounce into the building. Behind them a cat let out a gruesome sound that was somewhere between a yowl and a retch.

“Jellicle cats have cheerful faces. Jellicle cats have bright black eyes.” Everyone was streaming into the building, spreading out into empty, abandoned space.

“We like to practice our airs and graces and wait for the Jellicle moon to rise.” Munk and Deuteronomy slipped through the writhing, wiggling masses to lead the way.

Pounce tried to sidle up against the wall but was halted by the sight of an old crusty cat tilting his head back towards the sky in what seemed to be irreparable agony.

“Meow, meow, meow, meow!” The cat wailed.

“Everlasting Cat help us all.” Pounce muttered, trying to back away from the nightmare before him. Misto grabbed him by the arm and led him towards the crowd.

The chanted words were blending all around him in a never ending cacophony of hellish sounds. This was not a celebration. This was an initiation. And there was nothing that Pounce could do to escape it. 

It finally came to his attention that they were in an abandoned theatre. The main floor had been cleared of debris to make room for the upcoming activities. Moonlight filtered in through the broken roof. It wasn’t the junkyard he was used to but, honestly, it wasn’t a bad space. At least the environment was appropriately spooky.

“Jellicle cats.” Pounce grumbled to Misto. “More like Hellicle cats, am I right?”

Misto was too caught up in the action to notice his quips. Munk led Deuteronomy over to a large stage and took up his position in the center of the theatre, scanning the crowd of cats with an excited grin on his face and a crazed look in his eye.

“Jellicle cats come out tonight! Jellicle cats come one, come all! The Jellicle moon is shining bright, Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball!”

“Whoa, you guys got through that part rather quick.” Pounce observed. “Although you guys were chanting feverishly so I guess- hey! Lemme go!”

Munk took him by the arm and pulled him out into the center of the theatre, positioning him in the moonlight. Briefly Pounce was transfixed by the sight of the Jellicle moon. 

“Jellicle cats come out tonight. Jellicle cats, come one, come all. The Jellicle moon is shining bright.” Munk sang. “Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.” 

As Pounce’s gaze drifted down from the moon he caught sight of Deuteronomy looking at him.

“Nope! I’m out-” His attempt to flee was blocked by cats writhing around him. The moonlight had taken hold of everyone, sending them into a possessed frenzy that left them all gasping for breath. All around them they crouched, tails twitching in time to an unheard beat.

“Uh, guys? Are you all- Oh no.” His tail began to twitch in time with theirs. The moonlight had gotten to him too.

As one the Jellicles began to move in a rhythmic, feverish dance. Pounce was familiar with how the light of the Jellicle moon possessed cats to dance, but these movements were more harsh, frantic, and left him wondering if someone was going to have a heart attack right in front of his eyes. The heavy gasps for breath all around him was worrying.

As he contemplated trying to go for help Munk grabbed him around the waist and spun him around in a circle, eyes filled with an intensity that left no room to argue against him. Another cat in bright red pants danced next to them. It was becoming more and more clear to him that there was no escaping the Jellicle Ball. Might as well go with it for now.

“I know I keep asking this, but who makes all these cat sized clothes?” Pounce wondered out loud as he let his feet operate independently of his brain. “I’m digging the red. Can I get a pair for myself?”

Munk sighed and pushed Pounce out of the circle, preferring to dance with the red pants cat instead. That was fine by him. Munk looked better with the other cat anyways. As they rotated together in the circle more and more cats joined in on the dance.

Over to the side Pounce spied the familiar magical cat hanging just outside the writhing ring. Misto looked around nervously as everyone started to pair up, looking like he wanted to join in but lacking the confidence to do so. It did not escape Pounce’s notice that he had shed the spangly hat and coat.

“Misto, get over here.” Pounce grabbed him before someone else could. It wasn’t the first time he had danced with a Mistoffelees. “Where are your clothes?”

The question fell on deaf ears. Together they elegantly spun and twirled along with the crowd. Again it was hard not to compare this Misto with the other, flashier one that Pounce knew, but this Misto managed to at least keep to the beat and not fall flat on his face again.

“Hey, not bad, you’re pretty good- What’re we doing now?” Pounce tried to grab Misto’s hand but wound up doing a weird hand dance with him. “Is this some sort of secret handshake?”

Perturbed, Pounce tried to leave Misto and wound up face to face with Mungojerrie. The calico tom winked at him.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten what you did earlier, you-” Again Misto pulled him away. “I’ll never forgive you!”

Pounce barely had enough time to shake his fist before he was spun around and lifted high into the air by a suddenly confident Mistoffelees. This was never part of the choreography he was familiar with.

“Put me down! Put me down!” Quickly he was lowered back to the ground. 

Clutching his head, he staggered off just in time for Munk to lead Deuteronomy back onto the dance floor. Behind him the Rum Tum Tugger jumped into the spotlight, doing a complicated spin and landing right in front of Deuteronomy.

“It’s party time!” Tugger threw off his coat. It was quickly snatched up by an excited queen. “With your permission, of course.”

At Deuteronomy’s encouragement Tugger led the cats into the next part of the dance. One by one the others started to perform for Old Deuteronomy in a bid to win her favor. Pounce perched on top of a table to watch from a safe distance.

It wasn’t long before a bengal kitten approached, eyes bright with exhilaration. He recognized her as one of the queens he had been sitting next to at the milk bar earlier in the evening. Everlasting Cat, that had seemed like ages ago. He’d aged at least a hundred years since then.

“Mind if I sit with you?” The kitten asked, looking up at him hopefully. “I need a quick breather.”

“Sure.” Pounce moved over. “I’m just trying to figure out who’s who.”

She eyed him curiously. "Is this your first Jellicle Ball?"

"No."

"This is the first time I've seen you around here." The kitten poked at the fluff on his legs. "I'd definitely remember someone as fluffy as you."

"Look, sister, where I'm from, I'm considered very handsome."

"I didn't say I didn't like it." She giggled.

"Well maybe when your fur grows back you'll be fluffy like me."

"Grows back?"

"Yeah, weren't you all shaved to make those fur coats everyone is wearing?" Apparently not, judging by the way she was staring at him. "Um, how about we forget that last part."

"Good idea.” She followed his concerned gaze out over the crowd. “How about I help you figure out who's who?"

“Great, ‘cause I’m really lost. Everyone looks the same and no one’s bothered to tell me their names.” Pounce complained. 

Although, if he thought about it, back home at his Jellicle ball only the cats that had songs sung about them were formally introduced. Hell, no one even referred to Munkustrap directly by name and he was the narrator and guide of the entire ball. Maybe that was something that should change in the future. It would clear up a lot of confusion.

“Well, for a start, my name is Syllabub.” The bengal kitten said. “I heard Munk and Misto call you Pounce.”

“Yeah, I gave my name to that brown queen when she cornered me and demanded to know who I was.” Pounce said.

“Oh, you mean Cassandra?” Syllabub asked. "She can be pretty protective, especially around strangers. And especially around Grizabella."

“Is that her name? Huh.” Pounce watched her and a brown tabby chase someone off into the shadows. He wasn't exactly buddy buddy with the Cassandra back at home but at least she didn't act like she wanted to bite him every time she looked at him. “Who’s the brown tabby with her?”

“That’s Alonzo. He also helps protect the tribe.”

“Aw, that’s not fun.” He pouted. “That’s not much different from the Lonz I know. Although the one back home is much slinkier.” Pounce slouched back and splayed his legs out in front of him. “Interesting seeing him as a brown tabby though.”

As he spoke another, younger brown tabby launched himself into the air and flipped over the dance floor in an impressive display of acrobatics. When he landed he wiggled around in a dance, ending in the splits and bringing his hands together in a plea for Old Deuteronomy to notice him.

“Hey, that was pretty cool.” Pounce nodded approvingly. “All the flips and tumbling stuff reminds me of my brother. What’s that guy’s name?”

“Coricopat.” Syllabub said.

Pounce snorted. “No way, that’s Coricopat? Where’s Tantomile? Why aren’t they together? I thought they were joined at the hip.”

“Um, no. Tantomile is over there with Jellylorum.” She pointed over to two kittens who were watching on the other side of the stage.

“Jellylorum? Jelly’s a kitten now?” Pounce laughed. “That’s fantastic. Now she can’t tell me what to do.”

Syllabub frowned, clearly puzzled. “She’s about the same age as us.”

It was clear to see that while these cats shared the same names as the Jellicles he knew, for the most part they were nothing alike. Munkustrap was vaguely the same (although this protector was looking more and more crazed by the minute) and Mistoffelees had potential to become as powerful as his counterpart, but beyond that Pounce could have easily referred to the rest of the cats by other names and not have noticed a difference.

“Kinda feels lonely, in a way.” Pounce remarked. “Seeing all these Jellicles I should know and still feeling like a stranger.”

It struck a chord with him. Something poked at the back of his brain, a memory of another lonely cat that he should have felt empathy for, but there was too much going on for him to focus further on the thought.

“You okay?” Syllabub asked, sensing his sudden shift in mood.

“Huh? Oh, just... memories.” Pounce said as he blinked himself out of his introspection.

The arrival of the cats in sneakers interrupted him before he could clarify that statement. Together they moved in sync, shoes squeaking across the floor as they danced. Syllabub watched them for a moment before turning back to Pounce.

“That’s-”

“No, no, I got this one. One of those guys is Plato, I remember Munk telling me that.” He frowned. “Honestly forgot the other one. The shoes are so distracting.”

“Socrates.”

“Right. Not gonna remember that.” Pounce jumped off his perch, edging closer to the dancing twins. “But you guys got some interesting dance moves, not gonna lie, they’re kinda- oof!”

Suddenly he was pushed out into the middle of the circle. All eyes were on him.

“Oh, you wanna see me dance, is that it?” If that was how it was going to be then he was going to give them a show.

Cassandra circled around to face him. In a sort of challenge she danced rather aggressively at him.

“You’re on, just you wait.” Normally Pounce did not have a solo during the Jellicle Ball, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t prepared to perform one if needed. Back home both Tumble and Misto had shown him some killer moves and he was itching to show them off. A couple high kicks, a few jumps, and some patented spin moves and there was no way he could lose this dance competition.

The other cats around him ducked out of the way as he ricocheted off the nearest available furniture. His enthusiastic moves sent several cats rolling across the floor, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Munk reach out to grab him and miss by a mile. With a flourish he leapt into the air and swung from a piece of fabric hanging from the ceiling.

“Ha!” Pounce cackled. “This is how real Jellicles dance!”

Eventually the others joined in, clearly unwilling (or more likely unable) to stop him. At one point Pounce fell to his knees right in front of Old Deuteronomy, the old queen blinking in surprise, but before Pounce could make his approach Munk surged forward and pulled him away at the last second.

“You’re a little too wild to meet her right now.” Munk murmured, dumping him off at the edge of the crowd and giving him a stern look. “Try to control your flailing.”

“This is not flailing.” Pounce sniffed indignantly. “This is art.”

So maybe these Jellicles weren’t ready yet for his signature dance moves. That was fair. But they did put him in the middle of the dance floor and invited him to show off, so what did they expect? In an attempt to reel it back in he mirrored the moves of the other Jellicles but was woefully unprepared for the random, spastic movements they favored. 

Just as he seemed to have gotten the hang of it everyone collapsed to the ground, leaving only Deuteronomy and himself standing. Pounce was too winded to notice. 

“Okay, so... so now are we gonna do Pekes and- argh, just a sec. Need to- need to catch my breath.” Pounce panted. “Whew. Two Jellicle- argh- Jellicle balls in one night is more than enough. I need some air."

While the others were collapsed in exhilarated exhaustion Pounce found refuge in the cool night air. Moonlight intermingled with the neon lights from the Milk Bar across the street and the flickering streetlamp on the corner. The streets were quiet. Almost too quiet.

Something shuffled among the garbage at the base of the streetlamp.

"Don't eat me, I'm too young and handsome to die! I have so much to live for!" Pounce shrieked.

What he thought was the pile of garbage sniffed and snuffled. It looked at him mournfully.

"Wait." Pounce took another look. "Uh oh."

Grizabella looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. Snot flooded from her nose.

"Um. You got a… there's… you know. Got a little… something." Pounce helplessly gestured to her face. "All over."

“Silence.” Grizabella sang, either ignoring him or unaware that he was there. “Not a sound from the pavement. Has the moon lost her memory? She is smiling alone.”

“If you’re gonna sing, do you mind if I take a seat? I’m pooped.” Pounce plopped down on the sidewalk. “Don’t mind me though. Continue.”

“In the lamplight the withered leaves collect at my feet.” There were definitely withered leaves at her feet. “And the wind begins to moan.”

Pounce idly picked up a leaf and studied it as the wind blew around them. The cats here sure were literal.

“Every streetlamp seems to beat a fatalistic warning.” Grizabella struggled to her feet, using the streetlamp as a crutch. “Someone mutters and the streetlamp gutters and soon it will be morning.”

“Hope so.” He muttered. “This has been the longest night of my life.”

“Memory. All alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days. I was beautiful then.” She continued, oblivious to Pounce’s musings.

“Hey, so like I said before, you’re not as janky as you think. You should see the Griz that I know. Now that was a cat past her prime.” Pounce said in a poor attempt to cheer her up. “You still got at least a few more years left in you.”

“I remember the time I knew what happiness was. Let the memory live again.” Grizabella finally seemed to notice him and backed away from her beloved streetlamp.

“I’m not gonna get you, I just needed a break out here.” Pounce stood, brushing the dirt off of his fur. “But now that you’re out here singing sad songs to yourself I can’t help but feel kinda bad.”

Grizabella was looking at him expectantly. Slowly he turned to look behind him, just in case she was looking at someone else. Nope, it was just the two of them. If she was truly expecting something spectacular she would be sorely disappointed.

The wind stirred at his feet. Something stirred within him. Maybe he could help her after all. Words did not come to mind but words certainly came to his mouth. Without much thought he decided to wing it.

“Follow me home.” He sang softly. “If you dare to. I mean, I wouldn’t know where to lead you since I literally dropped in from the sky in a bag. Kinda took a chance with these guys and no one certainly took chances on me, really, I’m out all by myself in the street with you and no one cares....”

He trailed off as Grizabella made to leave again. Clearly the pep talk wasn’t working. 

“Um, lemme try again. All that I wanted, was to be wanted.” Pounce found himself singing. “Too young to wander London streets alone and haunted... No, wait, that’s not right. I don’t want that at all.” 

He frowned. Where had that bit come from? Yeah, he was young, currently alone and was definitely one hundred percent haunted by what he had seen. It seemed that something in this universe wanted him to sing but it was butting up against his legendary lack of focus.

“Look, Griz, at least you have something.” He tried again. “Something to cling to. You’ve got your youth and still got your looks, minus the snot all over your face. The Griz back home was in a much sorrier state than you.”

At least she had stopped running away from him. He took that as his cue to continue.

“So maybe this place wasn’t what I thought it would be- no, let’s be real, this isn’t at all what I thought it would be, kinda my worst nightmare at times. There are unquestionably phantoms of night and this life isn’t safe at all. To call it wild and free would be an understatement.”

Oops, he was rambling again. Time to bring it home. 

"Er, all I ever really wanted tonight was to eat a good meal and go to sleep. And I guess I want to forget a lot of tonight, on account of everyone here acting crazy and looking even crazier. Seriously, the images are gonna haunt me like ghosts. And not even beautiful ones."

His list of demands were met with silence.

"If I could only have one thing it’d be nice to know if your coat is part of your fur or not." Pounce tried. "It's really bothering me."

Whatever magic moment they had between them had evaporated during his ramblings. Grizabella disappeared around the corner, trailing her coat behind her.

"Well, bye then.” He gave her a small wave goodbye. “At least you'll never truly be wandering alone, 'cause all the Jellicles will haunt your every step. Like ghosts!"

In hindsight the pep talk could have gone better. Pounce shrugged and headed back towards the theatre. Old Deuteronomy was waiting for him in the shadows. With a stutter Pounce felt his heart momentarily stop.

"Argh! Don't eat me!" 

“Are you all right my dear?" She said, not unkindly. "We haven’t met before, have we?"

It took a minute for his heart rate to return to normal. If Deuteronomy was going to eat him she probably would have done it while he was distracted by Grizabella.

“No. I’m not from round here.” Pounce sullenly kicked a rock. "I was chucked into an alley in a burlap sack and then kidnapped by all these guys.”

“Oh, poor thing.” Deuteronomy edged closer, fur coat trailing in the dust behind her. Her eyes gleamed in the night. “Would you like to see me make the Jellicle choice?”

“Is that a threat?”

“No-”

“I’m not part of your cult here so you can’t sacrifice me, I’m sure there’s a rule about that somewhere.” 

“What do you mean by that?”

"'cause even though I'm a Jellicle and you're a Jellicle we're clearly not the same Jellicles and I don't know where my Jellicles went. So it's best if you just ignore me until I can figure all this stuff out and find my Jellicles."

“You say that you are a Jellicle cat?” Deuteronomy sounded slightly incredulous.

Pounce tried not to feel offended. “Look, lady, I know I don’t belong here, but I really am telling the truth.”

Again with the intense stare. These Jellicles really did like to stare a lot.

"You are a Jellicle cat." Deuteronomy finally said. "But not one of ours. You have come from far away."

"Yeah, that's what I’ve been saying. I'd really like to go home now. This has been a really weird night."

"And you shall return to your home. But not right now." Deuteronomy looked up at the moon. "It is not yet time. You still have work to do."

"Like what?"

“Come, we are about to begin.” Old Deuteronomy gestured for him to follow her.

Either he could go wander the streets alone and haunted or stick around to keep her in his sights. Neither option was wonderful but he figured it would be better to stay close so she couldn’t sneak up on him again.

"Oh, hey, if you hear something about you getting kidnapped by Macavity, I had nothing to do with it." Pounce said as he followed her.

"What was that?"

"Nothing.” He trotted away to sit next to Syllabub, who was lounging next to an empty basket on the side of the stage. At least she seemed vaguely nonthreatening and her bengal pattern made her somewhat recognizable.

“Where have you been?” Syllabub asked. “Misto was looking for you.”

“Outside talking about ghosts and stuff.” Pounce replied. “What’d Misto want?”

“He wanted to introduce you to Gus-”

“Oh, that guy. I know him.” Pounce made to climb into the basket but was stopped by the appearance of Deuteronomy.

The Jellicle leader crawled into the basket, draping her fur coat over the side by her tiny feet as she clutched the edge with her fleshy little hands. Munk crouched at her side like a protective gargoyle.

“Eugh. Nevermind.” Instead Pounce found a place on top of a table where he could rest for a bit.

“Gus the Theatre Cat!” Deuteronomy announced from her basket.

A cat in a shabby coat shuffled out onstage. Well, this Gus looked appropriately old and decrepit. Nothing unusual here. And for once his coat was made out of fabric and not fur. Pounce stretched out and closed his eyes. Maybe he could get a quick nap in before something more interesting happened.

“Gus is the cat at the theatre door.” Gus wheezed. “My name as I ought to have told you before is really Asparagus but that’s such a fuss to pronounce that they usually call me just Gus.”

Pounce yawned. One performance from Gus a night was enough for him. Munk, sensing his intent to sleep during the show, sat down next to him and nudged him awake.

“Eh, leave me alone, I’ve already watched this guy tonight.” Pounce tried to crawl away but was once again stopped by the crazy glint in Munk’s eyes. “And this Gus seems fine. He’s got at least a few more years left in him.”

“Hush. Show some respect.”

“Fine.” Pounce turned his face towards Gus to at least appear to be listening. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Misto crouching down next to the curtain. “Huh. Wonder what he’s up to?”

Munk nudged him again. “Focus.”

“What? This Gus clearly has something going for him. He can walk on his own, sing by himself, he says he has palsy but his paws ain’t shaking, I can see that from here-”

Munk resorted to sitting on him to keep him quiet. Sullenly Pounce shut up, not wanting to incite the ire of the clearly unstable Jellicle protector. Throughout the night there was a wild glint growing in his eyes that Pounce did not want to provoke.

“But my grandest creation as I love to tell was Firefrorefiddle the Fiend of the Fell.” Gus ambled towards the edge of the stage, eyes staring out over the crowd in remembrance.

Off in the corner Misto pulled a pencil out of his sleeve, gesturing towards the walls behind the stage. Nothing happened. Onstage Gus screeched and hissed, looking like he was about to either cough up a hairball or have a stroke, it was hard to tell. 

Old Deuteronomy was laughing along with Gus so the noises must have been deliberate. It was clear to see that she was clearly enjoying Gus’s performance. Her tiny, fleshy hands gripped the edge of the basket in delight. Gus kept shooting suggestive looks at her that were clearly returned.

“Do they have a thing going on between them?” Pounce whispered. “No, wait, I don’t wanna know.”

Munk didn’t respond but merely leaned a little more on Pounce until he was appropriately flattened and unable to speak. Gus sang a little more and did a jig on stage, taking a brief moment to berate the kittens before wrapping up his song.

“These modern productions are all very well.” Gus sighed, scratching himself with his claws. “But there’s nothing to equal from what I hear tell. That moment of mystery when I made history as Firefrorefiddle the Fiend of the Feeeeeeeeeeell!”

At the old Theatre Cat’s screech the sound of thunder clapped through the space, causing every cat to jump and run for cover. Even Munk was startled at the sound, giving Pounce a chance to escape and run over to Misto, who was grinning to himself and clutching his pencil proudly.

“Did you do that?” Pounce asked, gesturing to the pencil in Misto’s hands.

Misto nodded. “Bet that was just like how your Mistoffelees does lightning.”

Pounce’s mind flashed back to the uncontrolled literal lighting bolts that his Mistoffelees had unashamedly flung around the junkyard. During the action Pounce had climbed a nearby pile of junk to get a better look only to have Misto turn and fling a bolt of electricity right at his head. Sure, Misto had apologized later, but his fur was still singed. The fiery, wildly out of control electrical explosions were clearly of a different caliber than the small rumblings that this current Misto had just produced.

“Um, not quite the same, but close.” Pounce said, patting Misto on the back. “Good job.”

The cats quickly got over their fright and clapped and yowled their applause. Misto ran forward and helped a now winded Gus offstage. Noticing that Munk had abandoned the table, Pounce started to head back to his spot when he was stopped by a familiar voice.

“Bravo, bravo, Gus.” The voice echoed from the shadows. “Could I trouble you for an autograph, sir?”

Gus shuffled forward, Pounce crouching down behind the curtain to watch. To his surprise it was the cat in the hat and trench coat yet again, this time carrying a huge blank book in his arms. Guess this mystery cat was a fan of the theatre.

“To see Firefrorefiddle come alive tonight was truly inspirational and scary.” The cat gushed, ushering Gus backstage.

“Eh, I’d disagree with that.” Pounce turned his attention back to the stage. It wasn’t a good idea to keep his eyes off of Deuteronomy for too long. There was no telling what she’d do when his back was turned.

Behind him there was a strange whoosh of air. Pounce turned back around to find Gus and the mystery cat gone.

“Huh. Must have gone to the pub.” He shrugged. If things panned out tonight they way they did at his Jellicle Ball then Gus wouldn’t be needed anyways.

“The next contestant is... Skimbleshanks, the Railway Cat.” Deuteronomy announced again, bringing Pounce’s attention back to the stage.

Now here was a cat worth paying attention to. There was no way that even this universe could mess with this Skimbleshanks. Surely the god of the railway train would remain consistent across all universes, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some Skimbleshanks, the greatest cat who ever lived (or at least that's how the song sounds to me).


	4. There's A Whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skimbleshanks brings down the house, Macavity is certainly there even if his clothes aren't, and Misto really needs a pep talk. Pounce has his work cut out for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second to last chapter and what a ride it was to write. Hope you are all still having fun!

Anticipation buzzed among the cats. Skimbleshanks, the cat of the railway train, the one cat that Pounce felt even remotely inclined to listen to, was about to make his entrance. All lethargy quickly vanished as he jumped to his feet. Munk rushed to the front of the stage and brought all the attention to himself as he prepared to introduce who Pounce felt was one of the greatest cats to have ever walked the earth.

“Skimbleshanks, the Railway Cat-” Munk started to sing.

“The cat of the railway train!” Pounce joined in. There was absolutely no way he was not going to sing Skimble’s praises. They would have to forcibly drag his cold, dead body out of the theatre before they’d keep him from singing about the Railway Cat. It was basically sacrilege not to sing when Skimble was around.

As if sensing that it would be a huge waste of time to try and stop him from singing along Munk instead looped an arm around Pounce’s shoulders and brought him closer.

"There's a whisper down the line at eleven thirty nine when the Night Mail's ready to depart." Munk pulled him up to stand on top of a drum, gesturing for him to continue the song. "Saying-"

"Skimble, where is Skimble?" Pounce peered around the theatre. "Has he gone to hunt the thimble?"

"We must find him or the train can't start." Munk replied. "All the guards and all the porters and the stationmaster's daughters would be searching high and low."

"Saying Skimble, where is Skimble? For unless he's very nimble then the Night Mail just can't go!" Pounce sang with a flourish.

Singing with Munk was pretty fun, especially with an audience of Jellicles watching. And it was nice to prove that he could pay attention when he wanted to. Together he and Munk finished out the introduction.

“At eleven forty-two with the signal overdue and the passengers all frantic to a man-”

“That’s when I would appear and I’d saunter to the rear. I’d been busy in the luggage van.” A cat in bright red pants, suspenders, tap shoes and a hat made his entrance.

“Then he gives one flash of his glass green eyes and the signal goes ‘All clear!’.” Everyone joined in as Skimbleshanks made his way into the center of the dance.

“And we’re off at last for the northern part of the Northern Hemisphere.” Skimble hopped up onto a wooden beam and blew a shrill whistle. Then, starting slow and building up speed, he began to tap out a rhythm that echoed the click- clack of a train rushing down a track.

Pounce joined the others to watch in rapt fascination. There was still that same Skimble energy around him, still that boisterous, joyful enthusiasm that infected everyone else when he started singing about the Midnight Mail. Pounce couldn't help but bop his head along to the tune. The tap dancing was new but honestly, Skimble could do anything and it would be enthralling. 

Inspired by the rhythmic tapping, the others grabbed a few bits of junk and pantomimed the workings of the train while Munk and another queen joined in the dance. Before Pounce could figure out how to to join in Skimble twirled away, the wall before him melting into nothingness and providing an exit from the theatre.

“Um.” Well, there was the emergency exit Pounce had been looking for earlier. 

No one else seemed to notice the rip in reality. As everyone followed Skimbleshanks the rest of the theatre melted away, solidifying into an actual railway track. The location wasn’t the only thing that changed.

“Wait a minute, hang on.” Pounce peered down at his feet. Suddenly he was wearing tap shoes. “Where did these shoes come from? How’d we get on the railroad track?”

Something wasn’t right with the scale. Not that he spent any amount of time running around on the railroad tracks, but Skimble had definitely shown him the train station and he knew that the tracks weren’t supposed to be this size. Had they shrunk? Had the world gotten bigger? 

As he was puzzling out the sudden change the world shifted again and they were now inside an actual train. Could Skimble teleport people like Mistoffelees could? That would be a new development. Then again, maybe that explained why Skimble was so obsessed with trains. Pounce would be obsessed too if being a train cat meant that he could control the very laws of physics and bend reality to his will.

“Oh it’s very pleasant when you’ve found your little den with your name written up on the door.” Skimble sang, directing an awestruck Pounce into a room with his name on it.

“How’d they know?” Clearly Skimble was a god, there was nothing else that could explain it.

“And the berth is very neat with a newly folded sheet and there’s not a speck of dust on the floor.”

Pounce almost felt bad for not regularly bathing. Clearly he was not good enough for such stellar room service. That didn’t stop him from diving under the covers of the bed, nudging Plato over so he could hog the blankets. Or maybe it was Socrates. Who knew. Either way, Pounce was now wearing Skimble’s hat and he was having a blast.

“You ought to reflect that it’s very nice to know that you won’t be bothered by mice....” Pounce trailed off, seeing another horrifying child faced mouse scurry by.

“Skimble!” The mouse shrieked, trying to run for its tiny little life while the rest of the cats sang cheerfully around it. 

Munk and Skimble clicked their tap shoes together and herded everyone back out into the hall.

“Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat-”

“Cats!” The mouse child sobbed as the entire Jellicle tribe danced after it. There was nothing Pounce could do besides watch in horror.

“The Cat of the Railway Train!” Onward Skimble tapped, the floorboards melting away under his feet to turn into the taut surface of a drum.

Pounce blinked and they were all back in the theatre again. Everyone was too enthralled with Skimble’s anthem to realize that, once again, they had been teleported across time and space. Is this how his Old Deuteronomy felt when Misto whisked him back from Macavity?

“As he gives you a wave of his long brown tail which says ‘I’ll see you again’.”

Nope, no one seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary. Not even Munkustrap, who seemed to be hyper focused on everything that happened during the Jellicle Ball. 

“Eh, guess it doesn’t matter.” Pounce shrugged, joining in on the tap dancing only to notice that his shiny new shoes were gone. “Aw, man.”

“You will meet without fail on the Midnight Mail.” Skimble twirled around until he was right in front of Old Deuteronomy.

“The Cat of the Railway Train!” Nimbly Skimble spun in a circle, clearly intending to end with a flourish. He spun so fast his feet actually left the ground.

Wait. He was literally ascending before their very eyes. Suddenly the railway cat spun high up into the air, up, up and away towards the ceiling, rotating faster and faster until he was a red and orange blur. In a poof of dust Skimbleshanks was gone.

"Uh." Pounce frowned. "Is that a thing he normally does?"

Judging by the sudden confusion erupting around him it was not a thing Skimble normally did.

Maniacal laughter echoed through the theatre. The lights went out.

“Macavity.” Munk hissed, clutching Old Deuteronomy protectively.

A crescent moon descended from the ceiling, illuminated by a single spotlight. It was difficult to see who was draped on it but Pounce could see a ginger tail and a foot. The foot was tapping along to a beat.

“Hold up, Macavity’s a girl too?” Pounce whistled. “Look at those legs. No, wait, look at those high heels-”

“Be quiet.” Misto hissed. “Macavity isn’t a girl!” 

“Well I know he’s a ginger cat, that’s stated specifically in his song, and this is the only ginger cat I see so excuse me for being mistaken.” Pounce hissed back.

“Macavity’s a Mystery Cat, he’s called the Hidden Paw.” The unseen cat, clearly a ginger queen, sang from her perch. From her hand she sprinkled what looked like glitter from a sparkly shaker. “For he’s the master criminal who can defy the law.”

“What’s that stuff?” Pounce watched a spark land on Tugger’s nose.

One by one the cats were coated in the stuff, twitching and undulating even more so than usual. Munk pushed him out of the way of the sparks and into Misto, silently gesturing for the magic cat to lead him to safety. Misto took him by the hand and together they wove their way through the crowd.

Up on a ladder Pounce spied Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer enthusiastically coating cats with liberal amounts of the stuff. Below them Tugger writhed in agony or pleasure, it was hard to tell.

“Look, I know they usually can be very charming, but maybe you should kick those guys out of the tribe.” Pounce said, looking up just in time to see the ginger queen pull a lever and send a shower of sparkles all over the theatre. “After you guys clean up all this glitter.”

“It’s not glitter!” Misto whispered. “It’s catnip!”

“That’s what catnip looks like here?” Pounce watched it flutter through the air. “Hey, how come she’s not affected? That stuff’s all over the place-”

“Not now, we have to keep moving!” Misto pulled them towards the concession stand.

In another shower of catnip the ginger queen was transported to the top of the bar, wafting glitter all over them.

“Macavity’s a ginger cat, he’s very tall and thin.” The ginger cat purred. On either side of her Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer spread more of the glittery dust. All the other cats began to aggressively snap their fingers.

“See, what’d I say, Macavity’s a ginger cat, here’s a ginger cat.” Pounce gestured up at her, flicking catnip off his fur. The room was starting to go hazy. “Easy to mistake her for him, especially since your Old Deut’s a lady, so there’s precedence and all.”

“Aaargh.” Misto replied, clearly affected by the dust. The tuxedo floundered around on the floor.

“Oh. Nevermind.” Pounce sneezed. “I see you’re all busy.”

He turned his attention to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.

"Did you guys seriously just roofie everyone?"

“Yeah. Why aren’t you affected?” Mungojerrie sprinkled more catnip over his head.

“Oh, I am.” Pounce sneezed catnip out of his nose. “But I’ve already been in a state of general confusion and disorientation all night so it’s not much of a change at this point.”

“He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake.” The ginger queen bobbed her head for emphasis. Something about the words reminded him of someone. “And when you think he’s half asleep he’s always wide awake!”

Pounce sneezed again. Now who sang this song back at his Jellicle Ball? Everyone had scurried off to safety while Munk sought out the Mystery Cat. But Demeter stayed behind to sing about Macavity, as did....

"Bombalurina!" Pounce shook his head to clear it a little. "The hell are you doing? What- why- when-"

"You're a cutie.” She paused in her song to study him. “Did you stick your tail in a light socket or are you always this fuzzy?"

"Okay, this is too much. I've had enough." Pounce summoned every bit of indignation, outrage and sheer horror that had been growing within him during the course of the night and used it to fuel his upcoming rant.

"Alright, listen up." Pounce pointed a finger at the ginger cat. "You are not Bombaluraina. My Bomba is beautiful, kind, sexy, fiery, confident, has legs that go on for days and a pretty nice butt, not to mention she can actually carry a tune compared to whatever you’re trying to do-"

Someone coughed. Pounce brought himself back on track.

"Anyways, you ain't her. And even though most of the guys here deeply disturb me on a whole 'nother level at least they aren't trying to roofie me or kidnap everybody. Seriously, what's Macavity gonna do with all those cats? It's too much!"

"Pounce, get back!" It was Cassandra who stepped in to protect him, herding him back towards Old Deuteronomy out of the range of the catnip.

“Don’t you touch me, I’m still upset!” Pounce struggled. “Munk! She’s trying to stop my rant! Munk!”

The Jellicle Protector was too busy rolling around on top of a table with an empty champagne glass to comment.

“Fine. Fine!” Pounce wiggled out of Cassandra’s grasp and sat down on the steps leading out of the theatre, stubbornly refusing to join in on the Jellicle’s roofied dance.

“Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity.” Bombalurina gathered all of the Jellicles to her and aggressively danced towards Cassandra, who, despite Pounce’s refusal to be protected, was doing her best to place herself in between him and the enemy. “He always has an alibi, or one or two to spare.” 

“Whatever time the deed took place Macavity wasn’t there.” Mungojerrie, Rumpleteazer, and a third cat in a beret sang along, sneaking up and sprinkling more catnip on Pounce’s head.

“Hey! I said I was already disoriented and confused, I don’t need more!” Oof, the room really was spinning now. 

Dimly he was aware of Cassandra finally succumbing to the catnip. Munk saw the opening and grabbed him around the waist, hauling him up towards Bombalurina, who was swaying on a table with her freshly drugged audience at her feet. She was singing something else but it took all Pounce had to keep from sneezing all over the place.

“Who’s in charge of this operation?” Pounce complained as he wiggled out of Munk’s grasp. “I wanna talk to him. Or her.”

“The Napoleon of Crime! Ahaha!” 

Pounce looked up just in time to recognize the cat in the hat and trench coat appear on top of a statue. Well, the cat still had the hat. The trench coat was very, very noticeably missing.

“Everlasting Cat and Heaviside above, I thought you guys were all naked before, but this guy... Macavity.... he’s really, really naked. Where can I even look?” Every single part of the cat was clearly defined under a very short layer of brown fur. 

Macavity laughed and blew a kiss to the crowd, gleefully tossing his hat high into the air before disappearing in a shower of sparkles. It was all Pounce could do to keep watching as the cat reappeared next to Bombalurina and joined in on the dance. Every single movement highlighted just how naked he was.

“Yep, that’s definitely his butt.” Pounce tried to cover his eyes.

“But when a crime’s discovered then Macavity-” Macavity and Bombalurina gestured towards the stage. An enormous, gaudy, flashing staircase appeared out of thin air.

“Macavity-” Together they danced with all the possessed Jellicles flailing around them.

“Macavity!” Honestly everyone looked like they were having a good time. The stage design was interesting, the dancing was in sync, and the lighting was pretty neat. If he hadn’t been just drugged into oblivion Pounce would have enjoyed the show. 

“When a crime’s discovered then Macavity’s not there.” Macavity and Bombalurina danced up the staircase, ending the song with a flourish.

Pounce couldn’t help it. He applauded, his clapping echoing through the silent theatre. This Macavity was certainly not a ginger cat and seemed to be a nudist but he clearly had a good sense of showmanship.

“Ahaha!” Macavity gestured and Old Deuteronomy appeared next to him in a shower of dust. The stark contrast between her fluffy fur and his smooth coat only highlighted his nudity. “Yes!”

Oh. Wait, this was shaping up to be just like his Jellicle Ball. Pounce flopped down onto the floor, crawling over towards Munk, who was doing his best impression of a dying fish.

"Get him, Munk, get him!" Pounce pushed at Munk's back to scoot him forward. "Fight him like you did earlier tonight!"

"Excuse- excuse me?" Munk gasped, eyes rolling as he tried to fight through the catnip haze.

“You gotta go fight Macavity.” Pounce insisted. “My Munk did it. I mean, he lost, but he gave it a good go.”

“You’re... you’re crazy.” Munk collapsed.

Never to fear, there was another cat that stepped in to fight Macavity when Munk was down. Pounce shuffled over to the brown tabby laying next to the fallen Jellicle Protector.

"You too, Lonz, get to it. Kick his ass!"

Alonzo pushed him away. "Don't even start."

"Boo!" Pounce jeered. "You're not gonna fight him? That's lame."

“The time has come to make the Jellicle Choice.” Macavity announced, ignoring Pounce’s futile attempts at instigating a cat battle. “Old Deuteronomy if you would. As I am the only contestant left.”

Oh, so Macavity had spirited away everyone else. That explained the absence of the other key Jellicles. Honestly Pounce hadn’t even noticed Jenny, Bustopher or Gus vanishing. Judging by everyone else’s reactions they hadn’t noticed either. Besides Skimbleshanks the others being absent wasn’t much of a loss.

“And quite obviously the best.” Macavity added.

“You know, he might be right on that one. At least he’s got style.” Pounce muttered. “And he can actually do stuff.” Munk mustered enough strength to cuff him upside the head.

“Never.” Old Deuteronomy said. “I choose the cat that deserves a new life. I judge a cat by its soul.”

So that’s how Old Deuteronomy decided. Pounce had never really given it much thought before. His Old Deuteronomy never bothered to explain, just seemingly choosing a cat at random, but he guessed this made more sense.

“He’s got soul.” Bombalurina hissed.

“I’ve got plenty of soul.” Macavity insisted.

“You’re a cheat, Macavity.” Old Deuteronomy stated. Macavity responded by vanishing her, himself, the staircase, and Bombalurina in a cloud of dust.

“Ooo, he did not like that.” Pounce remarked as everyone slowly recovered from their daze. “And this Macavity really cares a lot about this Jellicle Choice. My Macavity just wanted to cause trouble.”

“Where is Old Deuteronomy?” Munk asked, finally coming to his senses. He spied Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer trying to run off with the catnip. “Where is she?”

“We don’t know.” Mungojerrie admitted.

Alonzo leapt upon him, hissing and brandishing his claws. “Where is she?”

“Wow, so you guys will attack those two but not Macavity. I see how it is.” Pounce grumbled.

“Look, it was only a bit of fun.” Rumpleteazer protested.

“We didn’t know he was gonna take Old Deut.” Mungojerrie winced.

“There must be something we can do.” Someone said hopefully.

“We can’t just magic her back.” Cassandra spat.

Suddenly it occurred to Pounce that the answer to their problems was sniveling next to him.

"Hey, you could bring Old Deut back." He whispered.

"What?" Misto looked at him with wide, watery eyes. "N-no, I can't."

"Sure you can. One of the first things you said to me was that you're a magic cat. So get doing your magic stuff."

"I'm a stage magician, not an actual wizard!" Misto hissed.

"I don't see the difference." That was the truth. It all blended together in Pounce's eyes. "You spent most of tonight poofing things into existence, so why don't you just poof Old Deut back? Even naked Macavity could do it."

"Why don't you do it then, if it's so easy? I don't see you waving around a wand and conjuring cats out of nowhere."

"See, now you're being sassy. Finally. My Misto wouldn't let anyone tell him what to do either."

"I am not your Mistoffelees!" Misto protested. "I'm just… just me. A sham. A failure. I can't even-"

"Yeah, yeah, already bored. Cut it out.” Pounce gave him an encouraging slap on the back. “The Misto I know wouldn't hesitate to zap someone if they annoyed him."

"But… how could I ever live up to such a cat?"

"Probably can't." Pounce shrugged.

"Oh."

Seeing how dejected he looked Pounce backtracked a little.

"I mean, maybe you're just a version of Misto who hasn't grown into his coolness yet. There's still time.” Pounce paused. “Well, not much time, seeing as you're the only hope of the Jellicles ever getting Old Deut back from Macavity, and the longer we stand around waiting the more likely she's going to be eaten or something, I dunno what Macavity's got planned-"

"You're not helping me feel better."

"Right. What I'm saying is that maybe you just need a little push." 

Misto stared blankly at him. 

"Alright, Misto, just for you I'm gonna go out on a limb here and do this." Pounce shuffled off onto the center of the stage. "But you need to become friends with Tugger so he can sing your song next time."

“What was that about being friends with Mistoffelees?” Tugger asked from the crowd.

“Quiet, I’m not talking to you. Can we get a spotlight and a drum roll over here?” Pounce announced. “Er, please.”

Everyone turned to look at him. Quickly he tried to remember how Tugger had started the song. Something about persuading everyone to ask Misto for help. And then there were flashy lights and explosions, but that had happened after Misto showed up.

"All you guys ought to ask Magical Mr. Mistoffelees, the original, ah, what was it… oh, right, the original conjuring cat. There's no doubt about it. About that."

"What." Munk stared at him. "What are you going on about now?"

"Those great magic guys have something to learn when Misto shows up and goes out of turn." Those weren't quite the right words but he was trying to remember a song he had only heard once. Also once his Misto started flinging lightning bolts and blowing up the junkyard it was hard to pay attention to Tugger's lyrics. At least he knew for certain that he had the chorus down.

"And we all say: Oh! Well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!" Pounce gestured towards Misto for his cue. There was only empty air. “Hey!”

Munk came to his rescue, dragging Misto back up on stage and spinning him around to face the audience.

“Thanks.” Pounce nodded to Munk before turning back to the others. “I don't normally sing this song-” He shot a glare over at a confused Tugger. “- but no one else is stepping up to do it so deal with it."

If he didn’t have everyone’s attention before then he certainly had it now.

“Anyways, this is Misto. He’s quiet, he’s meek, he’s not very confident, and he’s mostly black from his ears to the tip of his tail.” Wait, Tugger was much more complimentary in his song. “Um, I mean, he’s stealthy. He can creep through the tiniest crack. Um, he can walk on the narrowest rail?”

Nope, he was losing his audience. 

“Pick a card from the pack!” Pounce whispered to Misto, who looked like he was about to throw up. 

“Which one?” Misto asked.

“Any of them! Just do something to show them you got magic!”

“I’m equally cunning with dice-”

“Well then do that!”

“Although when asked if I’m doing magic I usually tell the others that I’m only hunting for mice-”

“For the love of-”

“I can play any trick with a cork, or a spoon and a bit of fish paste-”

“Stop gabbing and start showing them!” Pounce shoved Misto out into the center of the stage.

“Um.” Misto pulled a fork out of his sleeve. “If you look for a knife or a fork and you think it is merely misplaced-”

“You’ve seen it one moment, and then it is gone!” Pounce tried to add a little pizazz to Misto’s admission of theft.

“You’ll find it next week lying out on the lawn.” Misto admitted, handing the fork off to an excited Syllabub.

“And we all say...” Pounce pointed to the audience.

“Oh! Well I never?” Munk tried to remember the chorus among the confusing lyrics.

“Was there ever a cat so clever as...” Pounce gestured to him.

“Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!” Munk finished.

“Oh! Well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?” The other cats sang along.

Misto himself seemed to grow a little more confident with each note. Taking note of this new development, Pounce stepped forward to address the cats once more.

“So, anyways, his manner is vague, he’s pretty shy, in fact, if you talk to him too harshly you’ll probably make him cry.” Blank stares. 

"Thanks, Pounce, but I'll take it from here. You're kind of making me look worse." Misto gently nudged him out of the spotlight.

"Thank the Everlasting Cat." Pounce gratefully stepped aside.

“My manner is vague and aloof. You would think there was nobody shyer.” Misto admitted. “But my voice can be heard on the roof while I was curled up by the fire.”

“And he’s sometimes been heard by the fire when he was about on the roof.” Pounce added.

“At least we all heard that somebody purred, which is incontestable proof!” Munk stepped in to quiet any questions the cats might have had about the claims made about Misto. “Of his singular magical powers.”

“And I’ve known the family to call me in from the garden for hours while I was asleep in the hall.” Misto bragged.

“And not long ago this- this phenomenal cat produced seven kittens right out of a hat!” Pounce proclaimed.

“What? No I haven’t.” Misto said. “All I’ve done is mice.”

“Oh, uh, wrong Mistoffelees. Sorry.” Pounce slunk off to the side of the stage, perching next to Tugger and Old Deuteronomy’s empty basket.

“Did he really do all that?” Tugger asked.

“I dunno, you tell me. You’re the one who came up with the original lyrics.”

Misto did a fancy spin and brought everyone over to the basket, waving his pencil through the air. The cats were really picking up the chorus now.

“Oh! Well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!” They all sang.

Oh, here was the moment. Pounce sat up a little straighter. It looked like this Misto was going to try and conjure Old Deuteronomy right into the basket. Now this would be a sight to see. Excitedly he leaned in with the other cats, anticipation thick in the air. It was now or never.

Misto inhaled deeply and jabbed the pencil towards the basket.

Nothing.

“Um, Misto?” Pounce whispered. “You need some help, buddy?”

Misto quickly rallied himself as everyone sang the chorus again. “Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?”

“Please.” Misto whispered, flailing and grunting again.

Still nothing.

“Ouch.” Pounce shared an awkward look with Munk. 

The poor impotent magical cat sat huddled in the middle of the stage in a sad puddle of fur. It was too pathetic of a sight for Pounce to bear. There was no way he was going to let this Misto lose all hope, not after he had stepped up and sang (well, kind of sang) his theme song for him. Besides, Pounce suspected that if they didn’t get Deuteronomy back somehow then he wouldn’t be able to return home, and there was no way he was going to let that happen if he could help it.

“Oh! Well, I never!” Pounce approached Misto, staring deep into his eyes as he sang. Whether it was out of encouragement or meant to be taken as a threat was left up in the air. “Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?”

“And we all say-” Munk joined in, equally encouraging and threatening.

“Oh! Well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?” Everyone gathered around the basket, crowding Misto in so he couldn’t escape. “Oh! Well I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?”

The mantra seemed to be working. Misto took another deep breath. As one everyone swayed with him, feeding off the magical energy around him. One last grunt, a flourish of the pencil, and....

Empty basket.

“Wow, okay, this really isn’t your night.” Pounce patted Misto on the shoulder. “Well, I’m out of ideas. Anyone wanna go search the streets-”

“Oh! Well, I never!” Old Deuteronomy’s voice crept in from behind them. “Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?”

Pounce gaped at her as everyone rushed to meet her. Somehow Misto managed to teleport Old Deuteronomy clear on the other side of the stage without even meaning to. Truly it was an amazing feat of (probably accidental) magic. Regardless it was still impressive.

"Good job, Misto." Pounce patted him on the back. "Other Misto would be proud. I mean it."

"Thanks." Misto smiled.

“Hey, do you think you could bring back Skimbleshanks too?” Pounce said, only to be ignored as Misto took a flying leap up into the air, spraying cards all over the place. “Oh. No, that’s fine. It wasn’t like he was really well liked or anything.”

“Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?” Everyone was too excited to notice Pounce slip towards the exit. 

The Magical Mr. Mistoffelees had gone mad with power, leaping high into the air and levitating self playing musical instruments high above the theater. Cards and flowers exploded out of his sleeves. The cat was simply brimming with confidence. It was only a matter of time before the lightning bolts manifested and Pounce did not want to be in the line of fire when it happened.

To Pounce’s surprise Grizabella was watching from the door. As soon as she saw him looking she turned away.

“Hey, wait a minute.” Pounce ran after her. This Grizabella certainly didn’t waste time in making a hasty retreat. Somehow she could really move despite being on her hands and knees and shambling most of the time.

Once again they were back in the empty streets. And once again he felt the weird compulsion to sing. Might as well give it a go and see what happened.

“Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower. And a rose that is fading. Roses wither away.” What flowery nonsense was he spouting now? “Like the sunflower I yearn to turn my face to the dawn. I am waiting for the day.”

Whatever had crawled out of his throat seemed to make her trust him. Despite the fact that she had only met him twice and both times they hadn’t had anything resembling a normal conversation Grizabella let him approach.

For once he didn’t approach Grizabella with the intent to play tricks on her. Instead he gently butted his head up against her shoulder in a show of peace. It certainly felt like a real fur coat she was wearing, so maybe the Jellicles were mad at her because she shaved one of them for her own vanity? That’d certainly make him resent her. Although maybe now that the Jellicles had their leader back they would be in a better mood.

Well, no time like the present. Pounce took Grizabella by the hand and lead her inside the theatre. It wasn’t like she wasn’t going to crash the party anyways, so might as well bring her in sooner than later. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old Deuteronomy finally has to make a choice. But who will it be?


	5. Up, Up, Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone's going to the Heaviside Layer. Time for all things, good and bad, to come to an end. Hopefully everyone will survive to the end of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the final chapter! I don't even want to think about how many times I have watched Cats 2019 to make sure this story was as accurate as possible. I laughed, I cried, I'm questioning my decisions, but overall I am happy to be able to share this... thing with you. Enjoy!

It would be a straight up lie if Pouncival tried to say that this was the first thing he thought he’d be doing at the Jellicle Ball. Of course, never in his wildest dreams did he think he’d be experiencing two Jellicle Balls in one night, let alone a hellish, nightmarish version, but here he was. Taking Grizabella by the hand and leading her in to join the tribe was just one of many, many strange things he had done recently. 

Together they entered the theatre, Pounce taking the lead. His Grizabella, the one he had taunted and teased, still tried to retain her dignity when she interrupted the Ball, and it seemed that this one, despite the snot and tears, was trying to do the same. She kept glancing to him as if uncertain that the events unfolding before her were truly happening.

“Yeah, I’m surprised too.” Pounce shrugged. “Usually I’d be tormenting you at Tumble and Plato’s request, but you know, I think you should have a chance at this Ball. You’re really not that much different than everyone else here.”

He did not mention that this Grizabella was as off putting and disturbing as the rest of the Jellicles he had encountered that night. Even he had some tact sometimes. Watching her stumble and shamble towards the tribe with a hopeful look on her face sent another pang of guilt through him.

Immediately they were met with hostility. Cassandra ran up to them and hissed. Another cat followed, then another. Grizabella ducked down, but Pounce took her by the arm and led her through, guided by an unknown force that kept them moving forward. Was it guilt? Was it his conscience? Was it a higher power? He didn’t know. But everyone’s eyes were upon them and he didn’t like it one bit.

Finally they were in front of Old Deuteronomy. Munkustrap was staring at them with wide, manic eyes. Rightfully Grizabella hung back, clearly afraid. Behind her the cats formed a circle, hunched forward and hissing like furry, mutant snakes. The hostility was palpable in the air.

That was the final straw. Pounce had had enough of these weird cats and their weird attitudes. Why was he here at this Jellicle Ball, why was he stuck with these crazy cats? All he wanted was to go home, was that too much to ask? If Grizabella had to be involved in the Jellicle Ball for the night to progress as normal, then why couldn’t they just let it happen?

"Back off!" Pounce hissed back, puffing himself up and stepping in front of Grizabella as his outrage fueled him. "Stop being assholes! Just because she's made some bad choices in the past doesn't mean she doesn't get a chance to ask for forgiveness. Maybe she's really sorry and you're all just ganging up on her, some of you guys don't even know why you're being mean, you're just doing it 'cause others told you to… oh."

It suddenly clicked. That was why he was there. To make amends. He may have teased and been an ass towards Grizabella in his universe, but in this one he could at least try and help her achieve a better life. No one else was stepping up to the plate.

"I'm… I'm sorry." Pounce slowly crouched down at her feet in an attempt to look less intimidating. "I know you don't know me, but… well, I want to help you."

Incredulous silence descended upon them all.

“I know, I’m just as surprised as you are.” He sighed. “Come on. It's your turn."

Oh, if only Tumble could see him now. This new, responsible, empathetic side of him surprised even himself. But it felt right.

“Sing.” He said as gently as he could muster. It was now or never.

A hush fell over the crowd. Even though it was a moment that nobody wanted to see, it was a Moment and they were going to experience it. The laws of the universe demanded it.

“Memory. Turn your face to the moonlight.” Grizabella sang. “Let your memory lead you. Open up enter in.”

At least this Grizabella could also sing. Pounce settled back to watch the show. All around them the others started to settle in too, entranced by the sight of a snotty, sniffling, ex- glamour cat wearing their fur grasping at a chance to be the Jellicle Choice. She really did seem to put her heart into her words, trying her best to be accepted back into the tribe she had left. 

Now that he was witnessing this for a second time Pounce couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. After all, he had just spent the night confused, lost, bewildered and feeling alone, which couldn’t have been too far from how Grizabella had been feeling as well.

“Daylight. I must wait for the sunrise. I must think of a new life and I mustn’t give in.” Grizabella was close to crying, the snot dribbling down her face. Discreetly Pounce scooted back so he wasn’t in the splash zone. “When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too. And a new day will begin.”

With a loud sniffle Grizabella fell to her hands and knees. Pounce knew he had to do something, but what else could he do? What had happened during his Jellicle ball when Grizabella crashed it and sang at them? Jemima had stepped in during the silence, seemingly possessed by the moonlight, and sang along. Was that what he was supposed to do now? Hurriedly he threw himself into a moonbeam to try and get some mojo.

“Sunlight through the trees in summer.” He sure was doing a lot of singing tonight. His throat was getting tired. At least the words were coming to him easily, thanks to the mystical moonlight, although he still had no idea what he was saying. “Endless masquerading-”

“- like a flower as the dawn is breaking-” Grizabella joined in as he hauled her back on her feet. Quickly Pounce dusted her off and dove out of the spotlight. He knew what was coming next.

“The memory is fading.” Confidence renewed, she was winding up to really bring down the house. 

Pounce grabbed on to a sturdy table leg, motioning for Mistoffelees to do the same.

“Touch me! It’s so easy to leave me!” Grizabella belted at them, voice powerful enough to knock any unsuspecting cats over. “All alone with the memory of my days in the sun.”

Pounce and Misto clung to the table, the magical cat’s hat flying off his head with the force of her singing. Munk held on to Old Deuteronomy to keep her steady, but the leader was so entranced by the sight of Grizabella singing her heart out she didn’t even notice. Everyone else was flattened on the floor.

“If you touch me you’ll understand what happiness is.” Grizabella took a long moment to catch her breath, having used up all her available oxygen to belt out the previous lyrics. “Look. A new day has begun.”

Moment over, she turned her gaze to Pounce, who couldn’t help but feel a tingle of awe course through him. Or maybe it was fear. After all, she was a powerhouse that he had teased and taunted throughout the night at his Jellicle Ball. Maybe this Grizabella knew what he had done and was now looking for revenge.

To his relief there was only sadness in her eyes. Wait, no, that wasn’t something to be relieved about. Clearly Grizabella should be accepted back into the tribe and ascend to the Heaviside Layer. It had happened before and it should happen again. Pounce opened his mouth to speak but snapped it shut as soon as Old Deuteronomy shambled past him, taking Grizabella’s hand into her own.

“You are the Jellicle choice.” Deuteronomy said, to everyone but Pounce’s surprise.

“Yeah, saw that one coming. She better be after all that singing I did.” Pounce muttered as Grizabella approached him. 

“Thank you.” She said gratefully.

“Huh? Uh, yeah. No problem.” Pounce allowed her to nuzzle him, careful to avoid the tears and snot all over her face. “I mean, really, I didn’t do much but drag you in here. Honestly I’m surprised you came with me since I told you about being haunted by ghosts and stuff. But hey, that doesn’t really matter since you’re about to go to the Heaviside Layer. Maybe when you come back though you shouldn’t repeat whatever you did in the first place to make all these guys mad.”

Again with the staring.

“Never mind, it was just a suggestion. Good luck.” He slunk away to sit by himself. Or, at least, that’s what Pounce wanted to do. Now that he had been drenched in the moonlight and possessed by whatever forces were at work he was rooted to the spot, unable to leave as Deuteronomy started to sing.

“All of your memories of pain let them go. And you’ll dance with these beautiful ghosts.”

“Yeah, no, still not okay with this Deut.” As soon as his feet were freed Pounce spun away, turning his fleeing into dancing so they wouldn’t suspect his plans to escape. “Let’s see, gotta find a way out.” 

Gracefully he leapt into the air, trying to see over everyone’s heads. No, there were too many cats between him and the front door. Another turn, another leap. Skimble’s magical portal to another train dimension had disappeared, so no exit that way. The cats were trying to dance with him. He disguised his violent kick as a delicate sweep of his leg. 

They were closing in on all sides, smiles and all. The only place left to flee to was the busted chandelier in the corner. Guess he could climb up the rope and escape through the ceiling. Frantically he pirouetted towards it, a strained smile on his face as he turned round and round. Almost there-

“Up, up, up past the Russel Hotel.” Everyone started to sing. “Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.”

Misto and Munk, beaming and grinning, flanked either side of Pounce and pinned him to the spot, foiling his attempts to escape. Everyone gathered close, singing and taking opportunities to touch Grizabella as Deuteronomy led her towards the chandelier. Misto busied himself with conjuring small bits of flame to light the candles upon it.

“That’s just one step closer to lightning bolts.” Pounce said, trying to avoid accidentally setting his fur on fire. 

They all watched the flames encircle Grizabella as she stood in the center of the chandelier. Pounce’s gaze bounced from one ecstatic face to the other. Were they going to burn Grizabella alive? Is this how they sent cats to the Heaviside Layer? How utterly barbaric, they should be ashamed of themselves-

Wait a minute. The chandelier was not a funeral pyre after all. Slowly, with a wildly unsteady waver, the chandelier was starting to rise into the air, aiming towards the hole in the ceiling.

“What the f-” Pounce was drowned out by the sudden burst in volume as everyone sang as loud as they could.

“Up, up, up past the Jellicle Moon.” They all were oblivious to his panic. “Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.”

“She’s not gonna make it through that tiny hole in the ceiling!” Pounce yelled, unable to be heard. “She’s gonna crash and burn!”

Thankfully he was wrong. The chandelier just barely managed to slip through the hole in the roof and quickly ascended towards the clouds. Pounce breathed a loud sigh of relief, turning away just as Macavity grabbed onto the rope dangling from the chandelier, laughing maniacally.

“You know, I don’t have enough energy left to question what he’s doing.” Pounce muttered. 

“Come on, Pounce!” Misto grabbed him by the elbow and hustled him outside.

“Oh, Everlasting Cat and Heaviside above, where are we going now?” He whined. “I thought we were done with the change of scenery!”

Everyone gathered around the square, which was now lit by the early light of the rising sun. Several familiar cats were waiting for them at the base of a large statue of a lion.

“Hey, they didn’t die after all.” Pounce noted as Skimbleshanks, Jennyanydots, Asparagus, and Bustopher Jones greeted them.

“We were on a barge!” Jenny proclaimed.

“In the Thames!” Bustopher added.

“How’d they get back by themselves?” Pounce wondered. “Did they drive the barge back? Or did they swim- argh!”

Munk carried him up to the top of the lion statue and plonked him next to Misto, retreating to help Old Deuteronomy climb up as well. At this point Pounce was too tired to protest.

“The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity.” The cats chorused. “Round the cathedral rang ‘Vivat’! Life to the Everlasting Cat!”

Right. Here was the part where Old Deuteronomy would sing. Pounce slumped back against Misto to catch his breath. Normally this would be the part where Old Deuteronomy sang the closing remarks and they all got a breather before the very final number. It was a part he sorely needed right now, especially after the ludicrous amounts of dancing and singing he had been doing all night.

Deuteronomy took a deep breath as Munk and Misto leaned in. Instead of turning to address the entire tribe of cats in front of her she instead looked past Pounce, eyes gazing out into the abyss beyond what normal eyes could perceive. 

“You’ve heard of several kinds of cat and my opinion now is that-”

Seriously, where was she looking? Pounce looked behind him. All he could see was empty air. But she gazed into the world beyond, speaking to someone unseen, leaving Pounce and the others to awkwardly hang about waiting for permission to sing, dance, or leave. Since he was perched on top of a lion statue in the middle of the square for all to see it would be very difficult to make his escape. Not to mention that he was the closest to the Jellicle Leader and she would probably eat him if he interrupted her.

“You’ve learned enough to take the view that cats are very much like you.”

Well, yes and no. Pounce had finally accepted that these guys were probably Jellicles and most likely felines, but unlike any that he had seen or experienced before. Whether or not they were like him at all was debatable. At least at this point he felt like he got to know Munk and Misto well enough. 

“You’ve seen us both at work and games and learnt about our proper names.”

On and on Deuteronomy droned. By this point all Pounce wanted was a long rest. At his Jellicle Ball his Deuteronomy sang this part, voice booming loud enough to keep them all awake. Here, with Deuteronomy speaking quietly to absolutely no one in particular, it was almost impossible to stay focused.

Pounce glanced over at Munk. The stern Jellicle Protector was fading fast into madness. His face switched from calm to frightened to delighted to murderous to crazed in a matter of seconds, glancing from Deuteronomy to Misto to Pounce and then back to Deuteronomy again. Clearly the madness had consumed him, brought forth by the relentless droning of his leader.

"Um." Pounce huddled closer to Misto. Maybe it would be better to let Munk sort himself out. 

“But how would you address a cat?” Old Deuteronomy asked the empty air.

Behind her Munks eyes grew comically wide. Perhaps he had finally seen what Deuteronomy had been talking to. Judging by his terrified expression it was something not fit for mortal eyes.

“So first, your memory I’ll jog-”

The sun was rising higher and higher into the sky. Surely there would be humans about. Wouldn’t someone wander by and see the weird conglomeration of cats yowling about in the square? That was one reason why the Jellicle Ball was held in the junkyard, so if the festivities ran long they wouldn’t worry about being exposed.

Sullenly he gazed up at the sky. Far above them was the chandelier, floating through the clouds straight towards the sun. There was a teeny tiny speck that might have been Grizabella. Was that her or did she fall out of her rickety perch?

“Is Grizabella still up there?” Pounce wondered, shielding his eyes against the light. 

Suddenly Misto nudged him in the ribs. Pounce flinched back into the present and jumped to attention.

“A cat is not a dog!” Pounce screamed right on cue.

Thankfully Misto was paying attention. The rest of the cats echoed the line and then fell silent once more. Deuteronomy, who had sung with the crowd, turned back to the abyss and continued to lecture to anyone but her audience.

“With cat, some say, one rule is true.” Deuteronomy’s voice was a dull roar in Pounce’s ears.

Did it ever end? Would she ever stop? Pounce exchanged a worried look with Misto and Munk. Neither seemed to know what to do with themselves, which did nothing for his own confidence. All three of them were reduced to becoming silent, uncertain shadows behind the Jellicle Leader. Who knew when they would be freed from such a punishment? And what had they done to deserve this in the first place?

“You bow and taking off your hat.” Deuteronomy commanded. “Address him in this form: O Cat!”

“O Cat!” Everyone echoed. 

That had to be the end of it. They had been sitting up on the statue forever, freezing their butts off in the cold light of the early dawn, slowly losing their minds as all the energy from the Ball came to a screeching halt. It was like being tied down to the train tracks while the slowest train in the world rumbled towards him. The end was in sight, it wouldn’t be pretty, and it was taking forever.

“Please, just let it be over.” Pounce muttered. 

“Before a cat will condescend to treat you as a trusted friend.” Deuteronomy resumed. “Some little token of esteem is needed, like a dish of cream.”

Pounce groaned. Munk licked his lips, eyes rolling in his skull, while Misto stared at Deuteronomy like she had grown an extra head. Now was the end of times. Forget weird cat abominations, the unsettling chants, the writhing dances, the perverted, twisted facsimiles of his friends and family, this, this was truly the worst part. 

Now came the list of foods. Pounce was torn between the need to sleep and the need to feed himself. It was an eternal struggle for him, that was true, but currently he would willingly chop off his tail and eat it if it meant he could leave the statue and literally go anywhere else. Home seemed farther and farther away with each passing moment.

“You might now and then supply some caviar, or Strasbourg pie.” Deuteronomy continued. 

Munk jumped and licked his lips, staring straight at Misto like he was about to eat him. Misto, in turn, was gazing at Deuteronomy as if she would spontaneously turn into some potted grouse of salmon paste. There was no room for Pounce to edge away from the ravenous cats so he settled for ducking down and letting Deuteronomy’s fur coat act as his shield.

“And so in time you reach your aim and call him by his name.” At Old Deuteronomy’s words Misto nudged him again, but this time he was ready for it. Finally, finally, FINALLY they had reached the end.

“A cat’s entitled to expect these evidences of respect.” Pounce sang along as if his life depended on it. “So this is this, and that is that. And that’s how you address a cat!”

The crowd fell silent, everyone turning to gaze up at Deuteronomy. Silently she nodded to the tribe. As one unit everyone dropped to all fours and skittered away into the shadows. If Pounce had any energy left or wits about him he would have been intensely worried about the sight. For now it was all he could do to keep himself awake.

Sensing his exhaustion, Misto affectionately nuzzled his head. It would have been nice if he wasn’t also exchanging maniacal glances of glee with Munk, both sporting identical grins that showed too much teeth. Without so much as a sayonara the two cats hurled themselves off the side of the statue, leaving Pounce alone with-

“Oh no.” Pounce gasped.

Old Deuteronomy was smiling at him. There was no escaping her now.

“I believe you truly are a Jellicle cat.” She told him, as if he had been waiting for her confirmation.

“Well no freakin’ duh!” Pounce exclaimed. “That’s what I’ve been saying all night, give me a break!”

“A dearliccle cat.” Deuteronomy added, fondly patting his cheek.

“What the hell does that mean?” The sheer absurdity of the situation was too much. Sighing, he flopped backwards off the statue and slid down to the pavement. “What’s a dearliccle? What’s even a cat anymore?”

No one answered him. Blearily he cast his gaze back up into the sky. The tiny dot that was Grizabella disappeared into the clouds. Clouds that were… shaped like a giant cat face?

"Eh, too tired to think anymore. 'm gonna sleep here." Without much preamble he slumped forward and fell fast asleep.

"Pounce! Pounce!"

Someone was pulling on his tail. Wearily he kicked them away.

"Move your butt, you've slept long enough!"

"Nuh, I dun wanna be the J'lcle choice." Pounce muttered. "Dun eat me."

"Get up, doofus, no one's gonna eat you."

Hold on, that nagging was familiar. Pounce’s eyes shot open. A familiar face was frowning at him.

"Tumble?" He hardly dared to breathe. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's- ack!" Tumble squawked as Pounce immediately latched onto him in a crushing hug.

"Oh thank Heaviside you're here and you have fur and a feline face and no one's trying to sing at me or eat me and-"

"Whoa, wow, Pounce, did you do a little too much dancing at the ball last night?" Tumble tried to shove him off but was no match for Pounce’s desperate grip.

"You won’t believe what happened, I don’t even know what happened, am I even real now?”

“Um.”

“Hold on, I gotta go check, don’t go anywhere.” Pounce threw his brother aside and ran out into the junkyard. 

Several cats were lounging about, appropriately feline and fuzzy and faithful to what his Jellicles should be. A familiar tabby and tuxedo were in a deep conversation on top of the tire, clearly going over the events of the previous night’s Ball. Neither of them were ready for a desperate Pounce.

“Oh thank Heaviside you’re both- you’re both- you guys!” Pounce launched himself at them, frantically patting Munkustrap’s face and fur. “Look at the fluff, look at the felinity!”

“Pounce, what’s wrong?” Munk tried to pacify him but he was already moving on to Mistoffelees.

“Do a thing, do some magic.” Pounce took the magician by the shoulders and shook him.

“Do a what? What do you want me to do?” Misto asked, looking worriedly at Munk.

“Anything! Just something magical and not wimpy!” Pounce screeched. “Show me your confidence for the love of the Everlasting Cat!”

“Presto?” Misto waved a paw. A rainbow ribbon unfurled from thin air and arced across the sky.

“Yes, it’s so beautiful!” Pounce sobbed. “So magical and talented!”

“Okay, you clearly need some sort of help.” Munk carefully put an arm around his shoulders and helped him sit down on the tire. 

“Just… I was in a nightmare. Everyone was so weird and disturbing.” Pounce babbled. “You guys were there, but you weren’t, and then you wouldn’t let me leave, everyone was singing and dancing like robots, and I don’t even know how to begin to explain what I saw. I just… I saw things.”

“Too much excitement?” Misto suggested.

“You don’t even know.” Pounce turned his gaze up to the sky. Already it was growing dark, the night sky sprinkled with stars. Was he gone for the whole day?

“Stay here.” Munk commanded. “I’m going to go get you some water. And maybe a sedative.”

“I dunno even what I experienced, but I don’t wanna ever go through that again.” Pounce said once he and Misto were alone under the stars. “I feel like this was a test or something. Some kind of horrible, disturbing test.”

“Well, did you pass?” Misto asked, voice slightly teasing. “Did you learn your lesson?”

Was there a lesson to be learned? Was there a test to pass? He certainly learned a lot over the course of the night. Nightmare or not, he felt he had a handle on just what his idea of what a Jellicle Cat should be. At the very least he wouldn’t tease any incarnation of Grizabella ever again, no matter how much Tumble and Plato wanted him to.

“I guess I did learn something. In a terrifying, horribly disturbing way.” Pounce settled back and looked up at the Jellicle Moon. His Jellicle Moon. “And I definitely have some ideas for the Jellicle Ball next year.”


End file.
